


In this Position

by gl0rificus



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crushes, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Original Character(s), Post-Divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 07:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4052338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gl0rificus/pseuds/gl0rificus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“You’re thinking too much,” Louis said, squatting down next to him. His tank top gathered loosely above the curve of his ass, which was maybe the most perfect ass Liam had ever seen. His eyes glinted mischievously.</i>
</p><p> <i>Liam glared back at him. “You seem like you’re enjoying this too much.” Liam strained his muscles as he lifted his torso and legs up to pass the ball back to his hands. </i></p><p> <i>Louis bit his lip to keep from smiling. “What makes you think I would enjoy watching you suffer, Liam?” He asked.</i></p><p>For the <a href="http://gloryhalleloujah.tumblr.com/post/50022538896/awkward-divorcee-liam-payne-and-his-hot-new">prompt</a>: awkward divorcee Liam Payne and his hot new pilates instructor Louis Tomlinson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In this Position

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sidewalksofny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidewalksofny/gifts).



> Song title from ["I Really Like You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77PzXCKDyVQ) by Carly Rae Jepsen.
> 
> I really ran with this one. None of this is real, but I loved every moment of it.

 

_“And I think wish fulfillment is… wish fulfillment serves a purpose. A lot of people consider it a cop out or a... or a cynical act, but I think wish fulfilment's really important in drama. And it's important for the people who watch it and the people who make it. We need to have something to reach for. To not settle for less.”_

**Joe Wright, Director _, Pride & Prejudice_**

 

_“I really, really, really, really, really, really like you.”_

**Carly Rae Jepsen, Pop Star _, I Really Like You_**

 

 

“Liam, this is an intervention.”

Harry placed a hand on Liam’s shoulder and slid a beer to him across the bar top. Liam took a long sip and exhaled with a sigh.

“You’re too fucking sad, buddy.” Niall finished. He had an odd way of finishing people’s thoughts, almost like he knew what they were going to say before even they did. It’d been a talent of his since they were kids. “It’s starting to make me depressed just looking at you. I know these past few months haven’t been easy, but you gotta move on. You’ve got to pull yourself out of this funk.”

“We just want what’s best for you, is all,” Harry rushed to add, his hand moving in reassuring circles across Liam’s back.

Liam sighed again. “I wish it were that easy. You think I like feeling this way?” Harry continued rubbing. “It’s just - I knew what I was doing, every day, for the past 12 years. I knew what I was going to eat for breakfast, I knew where I was going to go that day, I knew who I was going to see. And now, now that…” He paused and bit his lip. “Now that Katherine is gone, now that me and Ruby are alone, I don’t know what to do with myself.”

Niall shook his head. “Liam, you’re acting like someone died! Look, you and Katherine got divorced. She moved away, and your relationship ended, but your life didn’t end.” He quickly glanced at Harry and continued. “Buddy, you know we love you, so please don’t take this the wrong way, but you have got to stop moping around. Not only for your sake, but for Ruby’s sake. And for our sake.”

Liam knew his friends were right. He and Katherine had split up seven months ago, and he still had a hard time saying her name in conversation. But how was he supposed to forget someone he had been with since he was 18 years old? The first girl he’d ever kissed - the ONLY girl he’d ever kissed, the mother of his child? Katherine had been his rock, and now she was gone. And he was here, in Chicago, in the same bar he had been going to since he was too young to drink, in the same neighborhood he had lived in all his life. She had moved on, and he had stayed the same. Stuck.

The thing was, they just didn’t love each other anymore. Not like that. They had known each other since first grade, and Katherine was the coolest girl - probably the coolest person - in their entire neighborhood. She had always teased Liam for being shy and overly serious, but for some reason, when they turned 18, when they reached senior year, she changed her tune. He had started boxing junior year, and had a growth spurt over the summer, and he had noticed the girls noticing him more and more - but the only one he ever wanted to notice him was Katherine. And she did, notice him. She noticed him so much that she staged an iconic first kiss under the bleachers right before homecoming, and didn’t even hesitate when he asked her to live with him in an apartment they couldn’t afford right after graduating from high school. So much, that she rushed into his arms and knocked him to the ground when he asked her to marry him at the tender age of 20. Liam still went misty-eyed when he allowed himself to indulge in the happy memories - fixing up his parents’ old house, their anniversary camping trip to the upper peninsula. The night Ruby was born, all purple and screaming and perfect. He and Katherine had never loved each other more than in that moment, when they curled together on the hospital bed and held their daughter for the first time.

But there had been hard times too, like when Liam had lost his job, and when Katherine’s mother had died, and all the fights and arguments and the dispassionate, wordless monotony in between. Liam had spent sleepless hours combing through his memories, searching desperately, trying to pinpoint the exact moment when everything had changed - when he and Katherine had fallen out of love. Now, seven months after his divorce, he knew that there had never been a moment. Rather, it had been a gradual transition, from teenage infatuation into a mutual love that had eventually settled into complacency. They had become friends, in the most benign sense, and that wasn’t enough to keep a marriage together. Not for Katherine, and, he could now admit, not for him, either.

Liam could still remember the day that Katherine sat him down in the living room. She told him that she got the job in England, the Marketing Manager position. He had encouraged her to apply, because they’d always talked about living abroad, and because he hoped a change of scene would be good for them. Would help fix the things he refused to see as broken. But instead of looking at Liam with renewed love, like they were 20 years old again, Katherine had looked tired, and sad.

 _The thing is, Liam, I don’t want you to come with me. To England. What does that mean?_ She had hugged herself and cried. Had he cried, too? He couldn’t remember that part.

The divorce had been amicable, with the hardest part being the conversation about what to do with Ruby. They both wanted what was best for her, and both wanted fiercely to be with her, and in the end, they decided that Ruby should stay in Chicago, with Liam, and with friends and family. That had been the hardest on Katherine. She had almost decided not to accept the position and to stay in Chicago. But Liam reminded her about her dream of traveling the world, and that airplanes existed, and that phones and internet existed, and that Ruby would call her every night. Liam made sure that everything would be okay, like he always did. But in taking care of everyone else, he had forgotten to take care of himself.

“The purpose of this intervention is to get you back, get Liam back.” Niall continued, interrupting Liam’s thoughts. “We can tell that you’re unhappy. You just want to stay in with Ruby every night, which, I mean, it’s great to bond with your daughter, but…” He hesitated.

“Ruby told us that you are boring the shit out of her,” Harry continued. “In so many words.”

Liam looked up from his beer, shocked. “I’m boring her? She said that?”

Niall nodded his head. “Yes, your daughter said that. When I picked her up from school yesterday. And I quote: _Do I have to go home right away? It’s so boring at home with Papa_. Liam, if a five-year-old thinks you’re boring, you have got to take a long, hard look at your life.”

"She’s almost six,” Liam muttered under his breath.

“That’s even worse! A six-year-old is judging your social life!” Niall barked out a laugh and slapped Liam on the back, which made him feel a bit better. “Look, Payno, I know the divorce has been hard on you. And I know those dates we set you up on were too much, too soon, and I’m sorry about that.”

 _You could say that again_ , Liam thought. He had started crying halfway through the first date, right into the bread basket. On the second date he had tried to make normal date conversation about hobbies and baseball but had ended up ranting about Andy the Clown, the long-time White Sox mascot who was thrown to the curb by management in 1991. All those years of dedication, and what did Andy get? Abandoned, left alone to raise his daughter while his ex-wife moved to Buckingham Palace. Wait, what were they talking about? _Everything that’s gold must fade_ , Liam had slurred dramatically, draining the last few drops from the bottle of Merlot. His date couldn’t have asked for the check any quicker.

“No more dates,” Harry agreed, tucking a long strand of hair behind his ear. “Just, promise us that you will start taking care of yourself. Eat something other than pizza. Go to a baseball game. Start working out.”

Liam huffed indignantly. “I’m pretty sure Ruby is pleased with our pizza-only diet. And I do not need to start working out. I am a construction worker. My job is working out.”

Niall shrugged and adjusted his pageboy cap. “You’re right, a pizza-only diet will definitely get you to Ruby’s college graduation day. And you’ve got at least five more years before your metabolism goes to shit and you can’t run around with her anymore. Plus, it’s not like working out hasn’t been proven to help boost your mood. Ruby is totally happy with her old, mopey, sedentary Dad. I think you should ride this one out and see where it takes you.”

Liam sipped his beer and looked at his friends. Harry looked at him expectantly, appearing to hold his breath, but Niall just smiled. He knew that he had won. “Fine. I’ll buy some broccoli. And I’ll start working out.” Liam conceded. “But don’t expect me to like it.”

Niall and Harry high-fived each other and wrapped Liam in a hug.

\------------------------------------------------------

Liam opened the front door of their three bedroom bungalow house and was immediately enveloped by a rush of cool air. That summer in Chicago had been brutally hot, and as a person who worked outside all day, the hum of air conditioning units sounded like a chorus of cherubic angels welcoming him to the pearly gates.  _Bless you, air conditioning_ , he thought. He set his backpack down by the front door and knew that he had about ten seconds to unlace and kick off his work boots before Ruby found him. One, two…

“Papa!” A voice called out, and Liam laughed as his daughter came bounding across the room and jumped up into his arms. Ruby’s curly brown hair was plastered with sweat across her forehead, and she pushed it to the side before showering Liam with kisses.

“Munchkin!” Liam replied, squeezing her tightly and then swinging her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Ruby squealed with delight and pounded her fists against Liam’s back as he finished kicking off his boots. “Where’s your Grandma?”

“She in the backyard,” Ruby replied from Liam’s back, still giggling. “I heard your truck. Come outside, we’re drinking pop!”

Liam moved to set Ruby down, but she quickly wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. He closed his eyes and held her for a few moments before gently kissing the top of her head. Her hair was warm and smelled like sunshine. This was Liam’s favorite part of the day, coming home to Ruby, and he dreaded the thought that one day she would no longer rush to greet him like this.

Liam ruffled a hand through his daughter’s hair. “Pop? What happened to our healthy eating promise?”

Ruby gave him a quizzical look. “I always have pop when Grandma watches me. Harry brings crafts. Niall brings movies. Grandma brings story books and pop.”

Liam nodded his head. “Well, Harry’s bringing vegetables tonight. He’s coming over for dinner.” Ruby cheered and did a little dance, making Liam laugh. “Go outside and play with Grandma, I’ll come join you in a second.” Ruby hugged his leg quickly before running through the kitchen and out the back door.

Liam sat down on the couch and looked around the living room of his childhood home. He and Katherine bought the house from his parents about seven years ago, when they had started trying for a family, and they had made quite a few changes over the years. He and Niall remodeled the kitchen and bathrooms, and had installed a new awning over the patio out back, but the living room still looked the same as it did when he was a kid. His mother had redecorated the room when Liam was in middle school, and she had been so proud of it, especially the delicate, floral wallpaper, so much so that she would scream at Liam and his sisters when they would lean against the walls or touch it with grubby fingers. Sometimes his older sister would hover her hand less than an inch away, almost touching, just to get a rise out of their poor mother. Liam kept the wallpaper because his mother loved it, and because it made him laugh, but also because it reminded him of how hard his parents had worked to take care of them all.

A lot had happened since then. _The thing is, Liam, I don’t want you to come with me. To England. What does that mean?_

The back door opened with a bang, jolting Liam back to the present. “Papaaaaa, come outside!” Ruby’s voice echoed through the house. “Come see what me and Grandma made!”

Liam peeled himself off the couch and walked out onto the back porch. Ruby was squatting on the cement patio, stacking empty beer and pop cans into a pyramid. His mother, Karen, was overseeing Ruby’s progress from the shade of the awning, a pile of children’s books on the table beside her. “Hello, sweetie.” Karen smiled up at him. She passed Ruby another empty pop can, which Ruby added carefully added to her masterpiece. “How’s your day been?”

“Good, we’re still working on that Halsted street project, should be done in another month or two.” Karen continued smiling up at him, and Liam could see little tears forming in the corners of her eyes. He and his mother had always been the softies of the family. “What?” He asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I just can’t believe how quickly you grew up,” she said before wiping a tear away. “It seems like just yesterday I was playing with you back here in this yard, and now I’m here with your daughter.”

Liam smiled. “Can you believe I made it to my 30th birthday?”

“Of course I can believe it!” She laughed. “You were always the most careful kid, always eager to please. All I had to do was look at you and you would fess up immediately, you were so afraid of getting into trouble.”

Liam picked up an errant pop can and raised his eyebrows at his mother. “Speaking of trouble, didn’t I tell you Ruby and I are trying to cut down on the refined sugar? How the tables have turned, Mom.”

Karen dismissed him with a wave. “Don’t listen to everything that Harry Styles says. I love the boy to pieces, but he would benefit from a milkshake and a hamburger every now and then. Also, almost every one of those pop cans are from _your_ recycling bin. And the beer cans certainly aren’t ours.” Now it was her turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Blame Niall,” Liam said, before adding, “And maybe last week’s poker night.” He really did buckle under the slightest pressure.

Karen smiled and handed Liam an orange pop. He cracked it open and took a long sip, savoring the cooling, fizzy sweetness. Old habits die hard.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

“Liam, you are being ridiculous.” Harry adjusted the tiara on top of his head. He sat cross-legged in the middle of the kitchen floor while Ruby braided his hair, which had resulted in a few haphazardly placed braids but mostly just involved combing his hair with her fingers. “You promised us.”

Liam sighed. Katherine and Ruby had taken to Harry immediately when he moved next door four years ago, but Liam had been hesitant. He had chalked Harry up as part of the new wave of hipster gentrification to hit the Bridgeport neighborhood, what with his designer shirts and Triumph motorcycle. And Harry was that, but he was also so much more - he was charming, generous and kind. In fact, he was better friends with everyone in the neighborhood than Liam was, and Liam had grown up here. Harry could be a tad judgmental, but he was usually right. And Liam had promised.

“I know, and I’ve tried to work out, I swear.” Liam wiped the plate with a wet sponge and placed it in the dishwasher. “Ruby can testify to that. Ruby, you remember when I was watching that exercise video?”

Ruby looked up from Harry’s head and stopped humming. “The one with the angry people?”

Liam and Harry both laughed at that. “Yes,” Liam answered, “The one with the angry people. P90X,” he added, for Harry’s benefit. Ruby nodded and went back to trying a knot in Harry’s hair. “Anyway, I bought the whole P90X set, and I tried doing it at home, but Ruby kept running in front of the TV and tugging at my clothes and interrupting me.” Liam had also tried crossfit, but he wasn’t as young as he used to be, and had ended up injuring himself 15 minutes in. He wasn’t going to tell Harry about that one.

Harry rolled his eyes. “Liam, I can’t believe you are blaming this on your six-year-old daughter.”

“Almost six,” Liam muttered into the dishes. Harry pelted him with a stuffed animal.

“Okay, so you can’t work out at home. Why don’t you join a gym? Niall goes to this gym by Palmisano Park, you could go with him.” Harry handed Ruby a hair tie as she finished off one of the braids.

Liam loaded the last plate into the dishwasher and turned around. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

Harry shook his head and smiled innocently. Liam signed up for a 30 day trial membership the next day.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _I feel like a rat on a wheel_ , Liam thought. He couldn’t stop checking the clock on the treadmill, and he felt personally attacked by the concept of time, which appeared to have slowed to a glacial pace during the past 20 minutes. Refusing to allow his first day at the gym to be completely miserable, Liam pressed the ‘off’ button and decided to look for a something else to do while Niall did leg presses.

The gym was a three story building with windows that looked out over the park. The basement held an indoor pool, and the first floor was the locker room and exercise machines. Liam climbed the stairs to the second floor - free weights. Those could be good. The third floor featured another locker room and a few classrooms. Liam had heard about the classes during the brief orientation at sign-up, but he couldn’t remember which classes they offered and what they were about. Scanning the walls, he found a calendar and reviewed it carefully, running his finger down the list of classes.

 _Kickboxing with Sarah_. Liam liked boxing, and kicking was alright. He filed that one under “maybe.”

 _BodyPump with Tony_. That sounded too much like crossfit.

 _Mat Pilates with Louis_. Liam scratched his head. What was a pilate? He couldn’t guess, just from the name. Maybe it had something to do with a pilot. The class started in 5 minutes, but it was an hour long, and Niall would be done working out soon. He decided he would peek inside, just to see what the class was like. Anything to not have to return to the exercise machines.

Liam regretted his decision as soon as he entered the classroom. People, mostly women, bustled around him, grabbing various pieces of equipment and laying mats on the floor and chatting. Everyone was wearing spandex, and they looked limber and strong. Liam looked down at his soft belly and basketball shorts and over-sized t-shirt and felt very out of place.

He had almost managed to slink out the door without being seen when he turned to see a cheery woman standing behind him. Her red hair was pulled into a high bun and freckles dotted the bridge of her nose. “Hi, you must be new!” She beamed, handing Liam a mat. “I’m Megan. Is this your first Pilates class?”

 _Now or never_ , Liam told himself. He took one last look at the sanctuary of the third floor hallway before hesitantly accepting the mat from her hand. “Yep, first time. Is it that obvious?”

Megan smiled wryly and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. There’s a spot next to me, in the back, if you don’t want people to look at you.” Liam nodded gratefully and Megan started pulling various straps and blocks and something that looked like a torture device from their shelves, handing them to Liam as she spoke. “Mat Pilates is kind of like yoga. Lots of stretching and holding positions and abs. Plus, Louis is great. He’ll push you, but he keeps it fun.” Liam followed Megan to the back of the room and laid his mat on the floor next to hers. She sat down and began to stretch, so Liam followed her lead, sitting on his butt and reaching for his toes. He got about halfway down his shins before giving up. “You’re going to need an ibuprofen after this,” Megan chuckled, shaking her head.

Liam was about to ask why when the classroom door swung open and everyone fell silent. A man walked into the room, dressed in a loose t-shirt and sweatpants rolled up to his knees. His hair was pulled back with a headband and he had a scraggly five o’clock shadow. If this was the instructor, he looked a little worse for wear. Not at all the image of healthy perfection that Liam had been expecting.

“Hi everyone, apologies for being a bit late. That construction project on Halsted street is killing my commute,” the instructor explained as he went about setting up his mat and equipment. “At this rate, those guys must be working on digging another Great Lake.” He popped up and adjusted his shirt, pulling at the collar and smoothing the fabric over his stomach. “Anyway, enough of that.” He smiled brightly. “I’m Louis, and this is Mat Pilates. Is this anyone’s first class?”

A few hands shot up, and Liam slowly lifted his own. Louis glanced around the room, and his eyes lingered on Liam for a few seconds. He quickly looked away. “Right. Well, if you have any injuries, just be aware of those, and take care of yourself. This class is going to be tough, and fun, and you may not like me during the class but you will love me by the end.” A few laughs echoed in the room. Louis smiled again, his teeth flashing white and pointy. Liam felt his breath catch in his throat. Why was he feeling so nervous?

“Okay, let’s begin with a standing warm-up. This is going to help us activate our core.” Louis rested a hand on his stomach. “Breathe in and imagine your stomach expanding out to the sides, then breath out and tighten your stomach muscles. We’ll do a few sets of these.” Liam placed his hand on his stomach like Louis and breathed deeply. He shot a quick glance over at Megan and saw that she had her eyes closed. He closed his own and exhaled. This wasn’t too hard.

“Now let’s lay down on the mat and do a quick 100.” Louis got down on the mat to demonstrate, and Liam craned his neck to watch. “Put your knees in a tabletop position, lift up like you are doing a sit up, and we’ll pulse our arms for 100 counts.” He climbed back up to standing. “Remember to keep your knees at a 90 degree angle. Imagine a bowl of your favorite food is sitting on top of your legs, and if you spill it you will have to live the rest of your life without that food.” The class giggled. “I know, right? What a horrible fate. Cereal always does the trick for me.”

Liam got down on the mat and lifted his knees. His basketball shorts pooled around his hips, revealing the blinding whiteness of his upper thighs and a glimpse of his checkered boxers. He hurriedly tucked his shorts up between his knees to hold them in place and pretended like nothing had happened.

After about 45 minutes of leg lifts, crunches and basically folding himself in half, Liam was dripping with sweat. It felt like someone had stretched him on the rack, stabbed him in the stomach with a hot poker, and punched every inch of his body. He was also convinced that, contrary to the belief that spandex served the sole purpose of showing off one’s body, it also played the very important role of covering one’s body, even in the most compromising positions. Liam’s basketball shorts and t-shirt were constantly on the move. If he wasn’t pulling them down, he was pulling them up. He was pretty sure that he had flashed his groin-area at a woman during their leg lifts because she had given him a horrified look, but maybe it was because she felt just as miserable as he did. Between pushing the limits of both his body and wardrobe, Liam could only come to one conclusion: Pilates was really, really hard.

They were in the middle of some new form of torture that the instructor called a “standing split” when Liam heard a voice next to him. “Try to align your hips over your feet,” Louis said. Liam swore he heard an edge of laughter in his voice. “Do you mind if I help you out?” Liam grunted a response and felt warm hands on his hip and thigh. Louis pushed lightly to correct Liam’s posture, and then crouched down to his head-level. “What’s your name?” He asked, smiling. His face was ashen, with hollow cheeks, and he had puffy little bags under his eyes. But they shone, bright blue and merry.

“Liam,” he grunted. His arms were shaking and he almost lost his balance, but Louis caught him and pushed him back to the center.

“Well, Liam, you may not want to hear this right now, but you are thinking too much.” Louis placed a hand on Liam’s arm, seemingly unbothered by the sweat that glistened there. “Don’t think, just do it. Like Nike. You like sports, right?”

Liam groaned, and Louis stood up, laughing under his breath. “Okay everyone, let’s slowly lower down to the mat. You all deserve a rest.” Liam waited for Louis to turn his back before he allowed his arms to give out underneath him, collapsing to the mat with a loud _thump_. He turned over onto his back, and his whole body relaxed. He felt like he was melting into the floor, like he hadn’t moved in an eternity, like he would never move again. And when Louis softly instructed everyone to roll to their side and sit up, Liam realized that this was the longest he’d gone without thinking about his divorce in the past seven months.

Megan helped Liam put his equipment away, showing him how to wipe down the mat and properly roll up the resistance bands. “So, what did you think?” She asked.

Liam wiped his brow with the back of his arm and grimaced. “I think I’m going to need that ibuprofen and about 30 horse tranquilizers,” he responded, and Megan chuckled. Liam laughed too and then winced as pain shot through his overworked abdomen.

“Leeyum!” Louis called out, just as Liam was getting ready to leave. He drew out the first syllable of Liam’s name in a strange way, like they had known each other forever and were close enough for nicknames. He flashed Liam a quick, closed-lip smile, and his eyes crinkled at the edges. “I hope to see you, next class,” he said.

Liam felt himself blush, and he wasn’t sure why, which only made him blush deeper. He nodded quickly and slipped out the door.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liam walked up behind Niall and placed his head on his shoulder, eyeing the meat as it sizzled on the grill. Niall was flipping the burgers and humming happily. Drops of grease caused the fire below to flare up, bright yellow and orange - a beautiful sight. “The trick is to make the patties like little pillows, and to never press down on them while they're cooking.” Niall said, gently resting his head against Liam’s. He took a sip of his Budweiser. “People mess with the meat too much. You have to just let it do it’s thing. Pressing down get’s rid of all the grease and makes the burgers dry.”

“You’re the grillmaster, Niall.” Liam squeezed Niall’s side and turned to fetch a beer from the cooler. Ruby was jumping rope next to them, the rope making a rhythmic slapping sound against the concrete patio. She handed the rope to Liam, who immediately began jumping while Ruby sang a verse. It was a game they had played a hundred times.

 _Cinderella, dressed in yellow_  
_Went upstairs to kiss her fellow_  
_Made a mistake_  
_And kissed a snake_  
_How many doctors_  
_Did it take?_

Ruby began counting as Liam continued jumping. “One, two, three, four…”

“Your a machine, Payno!” Niall laughed, carefully placing squares of rubbery american cheese on top of the burgers. “You looked so tired when we left the gym this morning, I thought you’d be out of order all day!”

“Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…”

Liam could definitely feel this morning’s Pilates class, but he loved jump roping with Ruby. It reminded him of his boxing training.

“Eighteen, nineteen, twenty…”

“Yeah, that Pilates class really wore me out,” Liam answered before he could think better of it. Niall choked on his beer, and Liam stumbled over the rope, catching himself just before he fell to the ground.

“Pilates?” Niall coughed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Twenty-five doctors!” Ruby cried triumphantly. Liam handed her the rope and watched as she began to jump. “Now me, Papa! Let’s see how many I can do!”

“Hold on Ruby, you’re Dad’s not getting out of this one. You went to a Pilates class?” Niall lowered the grill top and turned to Liam, his eyes twinkling.

Liam sat down in the patio chair and squinted up at Niall. “Yeah, I wanted to try a class at the gym. I didn’t know what it was. What Pilates was.” He took a sip of his beer. “It was really hard, actually.”

Niall chuckled. “Hey, no judgement, buddy. I just can’t imagine you stretching or even balancing on one foot. No offense, but you’re not the most limber person. Pilates seems more… Harry’s speed.”

Liam could easily imagine Harry in spandex and folded like a pretzel. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to do it again. I should just stick to weights and jump rope.”

Niall shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, if you liked the class, you should keep doing it. You were beaming when we left the gym. Granted, you looked like you had been hit by a truck, but you looked happy. I thought maybe you had chatted someone up. Or someone had chatted you up.”

Liam immediately thought of Louis. Why had he called to Liam like that at the end of class, in front of everyone? Was he teasing him? Challenging him? Did he think Liam wouldn’t be able to make it through another class? Could he make it through another class?

“I don’t know, I didn’t really like it. I don’t think I’ll go back.” He began to sing the verse for Ruby, and Niall joined it. That was the end of it.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

In two days, Liam was back in pilates class, folded into a pretzel and questioning his life choices.

“How’s it going, Leeyum?” Louis asked. The class was doing something called a “boat pose,” sitting up on their tailbone and passing an inflated rubber ball back and forth between their hands and feet. Liam didn’t know that bodies could move like this.

“Spectacular,” Liam grunted, lifting up his torso to pass the ball to his extended feet. He was really glad he had worn sweatpants instead of basketball shorts.

Louis also looked different today. Significantly different. His ragged sweatpants and stained t-shirt from last class had been replaced with black spandex capris and a loose fitting tank top that showed off the script tattoo beneath his collarbone. His face was cleanly shaven and fresh, and his hair was wet, like he had just gotten out of the shower. Liam allowed his eyes to wander over Louis' lean and muscular body, to admire the slight curve or his hips and his strong, athletic thighs. When Louis had first walked into the room, Liam had not been able to tear his eyes away. Louis had caught Liam staring and smiled back at him, almost like he knew that Liam liked what he saw. Like he had worn this outfit on purpose, in the hopes that Liam would be there.

“You’re thinking too much,” Louis said, squatting down next to him. Louis' tank top gathered loosely above the curve of his ass, which was maybe the most perfect ass Liam had ever seen. His eyes glinted mischievously.

Liam glared back at him. “You seem like you’re enjoying this too much.” Liam strained his muscles as he lifted his torso and legs up to pass the ball back to his hands.

Louis bit his lip to keep from smiling. “What makes you think I would enjoy watching you suffer, Liam?” He asked. His tone was playful, but suggestive, and their eyes locked for a moment. Liam felt a tightness in his stomach and quickly turned away. “Liam, I’m kidding. You are doing a great job,” Louis reached up to jab a finger into Liam’s thigh. Liam nodded and passed the ball back to his feet, wishing desperately that Louis wouldn’t stand so close to him. Having Louis close made it difficult to concentrate.

Louis laughed softly and stood up, walking across the room to help another student with her posture. Liam focused on the ball and tried not to think about how Louis smelled like soap.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

The Pilates classes were getting easier. After three weeks of stretching and lifting and extending, Liam finally felt like he was getting the hang of things. He could now touch his toes, and yesterday he had managed the usual set of 50 scissor crunches without breaking a sweat. He felt longer, and leaner, and had even allowed himself a few extra seconds in the bathroom mirror every morning to evaluate his physical progress. His stomach was definitely tightening up, and his pelvic muscles were beginning to make their first appearance in over five years. Mostly, Pilates was making him feel energized and good about himself in a way that he had not felt in a while.

The one thing that wasn’t getting any easier was being around Louis. Especially when Louis used his hands to guide Liam’s movements, his touch warm and gentle, or when he used them to pinch or jab or otherwise invade Liam’s space in his constant quest to “make Liam stop thinking so much.” Louis’ mere presence made Liam hot and uncomfortable, but he kept coming back to class, day after day, hoping that Louis would bother him some more.

“Now, focus your eyes out over the tops of your middle fingers.” Louis walked through the classroom, his arms crossed over his chest, watching the students struggle. “I’m sure you’d rather do something else with your middle fingers right now, but this will help with balance.”

There was a round of breathless laughter, and Louis smirked. He was leading the class through a “teaser” pose, which involved stretching out on your back and then slowly lifting your arms and legs up and balancing on your tailbone with your arms parallel to our extended legs. This pose was the most difficult for Liam, and he grunted and strained his neck as he focused his eyes on his outstretched fingers. His abdomen burned, and his legs trembled, and his mind was flooded with thoughts of sinking into the mat and giving up. _Just one more second_ , he thought to himself. _Just two more seconds. Just three_. He remained upright, struggling in the pose, but felt his body slowly descending toward the mat.

Liam breathed deeply. Then he closed his eyes and breathed again. Concentrating on his breath helped distract him from the pain, and soon he started feeling something else. Something new. Liam felt empty. The desire to just end the pose, the feelings of struggle, faded away. And as he felt his body still, Liam realized that his limbs were no longer shaking.

He opened his eyes to see Louis staring down at him, his feet planted hip distance apart and his eyes assessing. Liam’s limbs began to tremble again, but he managed a closed-mouth smile. Louis nodded and smiled back, crossing his arms over his chest and raising his hand up to bite at his thumbnail. Liam thought that he could look at Louis forever.

“Alright everyone, time to relax. I think we have officially conquered the teaser.” Louis continued looking at Liam as everyone dropped down to their mats, the entire class uttering a simultaneous sigh of relief. Liam folded his legs into a cross-legged position and glanced up at Louis nervously, waiting for some teasing comment or critique.

Instead, Louis gently rested his hand on Liam’s head. “You weren’t thinking, Leeyum. And it showed, in your pose. Good job.” He softly scratched at Liam’s scalp, his fingers tangling through the mess of hair and sweat. Liam felt a tingling sensation spread through his body, and his eyes fluttered shut. Then just like that, Louis’ fingers were gone. He opened his eyes to see Louis moving toward the front of the room, his hips swaying slightly. Liam sighed, hopeless and dreamy. Whatever this was, he was fucked.

His mind was still occupied with thoughts of Louis’ swinging hips when he walked to his truck after class. The parking lot was dark except for a few yellow street lights that cast a soft glow across the black asphalt. Liam rested his head back against the headrest before reaching to turn the ignition. The truck roared to life and he sat for a bit, listening to the low rumble of the engine and smiling softly to himself. He was just about to pull out of the parking spot when he spotted a figure out of the corner of this eye. It was Louis, walking across the parking lot, a messenger bag slung across his back and his hands buried deep into the pockets of his hoodie. Liam watched as Louis stooped to unlock his bike. He looked very small, alone like this in the dark parking lot. The Dad in Liam noted with disapproval that he was not using a bike helmet. Louis also seemed different somehow, his usual cocky expression replaced by a look of serenity. Liam wondered what he was thinking. Was he going to meet someone? His girlfriend? Liam didn’t like the thought of that. Maybe Louis was thinking of the Pilates class. Maybe he was thinking of Liam. Did he ever think of Liam?

Suddenly Louis looked up and across the parking lot toward Liam’s truck. He slowly stood up, adjusting the strap of his bag across his chest, and smiled. Then he waved. Liam raised his hand and waved back. Louis climbed up onto his bike, waved again, and rode away. Liam watched him go, then remembered that his truck was running, and followed suit.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Louis crouched next to Liam, his hand resting on Liam’s knee. He smiled affectionately and gave Liam’s knee a tender squeeze. His brown hair fell softly across his forehead and his blue eyes shone, piercing and energetic. Liam felt his breath quicken. Then Louis slowly moved his hand to the inside of Liam’s thigh, his fingertips pressing gently into the sensitive skin, tracing their way up, up, under the hem of Liam’s shorts...

“Payno, heads up!”

Liam ducked just in time to avoid hitting his head on the concrete tube that dangled above him. He repositioned his hardhat and waved thankfully to Niall, who gave him a quizzical look. Liam ducked his head and kept walking.

The mid-afternoon air was muggy with humidity, and the sun was beating down hard on the construction site. They had just finished digging the drainage trenches and were trying to lay the pipe before the site closed at 5 PM. It was an ambitious goal, especially given the oppressive temperature, but Liam always preferred working this way - he never felt bored when he was pushing himself.

Niall climbed down from the crane and jogged to catch up with him. “You alright, buddy?” He asked, his face full of concern. “You almost walked into the trench, back there. And I almost took your head off with that pipe!”

Liam stooped down to collect a few stray pieces of rebar. He had been daydreaming all week, but he didn’t want to talk about. How could he tell Niall that he couldn’t stop thinking about his Pilates teacher’s ass, or his blue eyes, or the way his smell had crowded out all of Liam’s other senses, so that Louis was the only thing that existed? What would he even call his feelings? Certainly not a crush. Grown ups do not have crushes. It was more like... curiosity. Novelty. Hormones, maybe. He hadn’t even thought of being with someone beside Katherine for over 12 years, so it was perfectly normal that newly-single Liam would think about touching and sex and holding someone in his arms and telling them all his secrets and the way Louis’ eyes crinkled around the edges when he smiled… Liam shook his head. Whatever he called it, this distraction was starting to spill over into other areas of his life. He couldn’t go on like this. Last night he had burned dinner, and this morning he had locked his keys in his truck. Now he had almost walked into a pit and been decapitated by a flying concrete pipe. At the same time.

“Yeah, I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately,” he replied. It wasn’t a total fib. Niall still looked worried, so Liam continued. “Not Katherine stuff. I’ve actually been feeling a lot better about that lately.” He slung the rebar over his shoulder. “Maybe I’m just thinking about Ruby starting first grade this Fall? I won’t get to see her as much.”

Niall looked skeptical, but somewhat appeased. He took some of the rebar from Liam and they started walking toward the scrap dumpster. “Why don’t you come out with me and Harry tonight?” He asked. “Get your mind off things. Harry has been begging me to go to this bar in Wicker Park, something about mixology or zoology or something.” They tossed the rebar up into the dumpster. “He gave me that face and I couldn’t say no anymore. You know, the one where he stares at you uncomfortably until you give him what he wants.”

“You mean this one?” Liam asked, opening his eyes wide and dipping his head, looking up at Niall with a creepy smile. Niall laughed and shoved Liam away.

“Yes, that one. And he’s probably planning to do the same to you, so you should just give up now and come with us. I know we’d both prefer to just go to the Bridgeport bar, like we always do, but maybe a change of scene would do you good. It will be fun.”

Liam took off his hardhat and wiped his brow. They had about two more hours of work to do, and then he could go home and shower and take Ruby to his parents' house for the night. He hadn’t had a night out with the boys in a while. It might be good to try something new.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Harry, you have got to be kidding me. I am not drinking that shit.” Niall shook his head as Harry set three shot glasses down on the small table top. A smell reminiscent of gasoline fumes filled the air, and Liam pushed back in disgust. Malort.

Harry pouted and then wobbled a bit before steadying himself against Liam’s shoulder. They had already gone through three rounds of fancy cocktails made with lavender and cucumber and God-knows what other aromatherapy ingredients, and Liam had really been looking forward to a nice, plain beer. He should have known Harry would come back with shots of Malort. There are two kinds of people who drink Malort in Chicago: drunk native Chicagoans who are trying to intimidate transplants, and drunk hipsters who revel ironically in Chicago traditions. Harry, of course, fell into the latter group.

“You always say that, Nialler, and then you always drink it.” Harry smiled sweetly and pushed the shot glass closer. Niall sighed and lifted the glass grudgingly.

“To Liam, to the Sox, to sports in general, to deep dish pizzas and hot dogs.” Niall thought for a moment. “To being drunk,” he finished, raising the shot above his head.

“To Chicago,” Liam added.

“To us!” Harry cheered. The Malort spilled over when they clinked their glasses together, wetting Liam’s hand. He drank quickly and coughed as the alcohol burned it’s way down his throat, medicinal and bitter. Harry gagged and covered his mouth with his hand.

“Fuck you, buddy,” Niall grimaced, clenching his eyes shut.

Liam patted him on the back. “I’ll go get the next round - something normal,” he added, nudging Harry with his shoulder. Harry nodded fervently and gagged again.

“Beer. Please. God!” Niall called after him, his eyes watering. Liam laughed. He felt light and floaty as he wove through the tables toward the bar.

Suddenly his heart leapt into this throat. Across the bar, not twenty feet away, was Louis. He was sitting at a table with another man and he was laughing, the sound of it echoing in wild peals throughout the room. The man smiled and rubbed Louis’ shoulder. Even from here, Liam could see that the guy was very attractive. He had dark hair and a dark beard, and his face was sharply angled and perfect looking. He leaned toward Louis and whispered something in his ear, causing Louis to laugh even harder, bending forward and burying his face in his hands.

Liam felt frozen in place. He’d never seen Louis outside of Pilates class. Louis was dressed in black skinny jeans rolled at the ankle, and his white t-shirt stretched across his back to provide a faint outline of the muscles beneath. He was there, in the flesh, not as Liam's teacher but as just another person in a bar on a Friday night. Liam gulped. He turned. He started walking toward the bar and just kept walking, down the hallway and straight into the bathroom.

He locked the door behind him and leaned back, closing his eyes. His heart was racing. The muffled sounds of music and banter filtered into the bathroom, but it was somewhat quiet, and Liam tried to collect his thoughts. Should he go talk to Louis? What if Louis didn’t recognize him? Of course Louis would recognize him, Liam had been in his class almost every day for the past three weeks. What would he say to him? What would they talk about? Pilates? Liam knew little to nothing about Pilates, and he had the feeling that Louis wouldn’t want to talk about work when he was out on a Friday night. With a friend. Liam felt his heart sink. What if that guy was his boyfriend? What if they were on a date?

Liam walked toward the sink and gripped it’s edges, staring at himself in the mirror. He was wearing his favorite black leather jacket, and his hair was slicked back into a low pompadour. His beard had grown in a little. He smiled, pretending he was smiling at Louis.

“Hi, I’m Liam. I’m in your Pilates class.” Too boring.

“Louis, right? I’m Liam, I’m in your Pilates class.” That could work.

“Louis! Good to see you! Can I get you a drink?” Too manic?

 _You can do this_ , Liam told himself. _You are an adult and adults talk to other adults and they start conversations. Louis is just a guy. You have talked to a million guys in your life. Louis is just one more guy_. Liam stood up and straightened the collar on his jacket. He could totally do this.

He walked out the door to find Louis leaning against the hallway wall, his arms crossed over his chest and a smug look on his face. Liam nearly jumped.

“Hi, Liam.” Louis said, smiling easily. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Wow, Louis, what a surprise.” Liam feigned. He scratched the back of his head. “Are you waiting for the bathroom?”

Louis leaned forward just long enough to glance behind Liam and then settled back against the wall. “Nope, I just saw you head over here, and thought I’d come say hello.” He looked Liam up and down. “You look different, without your Pilates clothes on.”

Liam blushed. “You look different without clothes - I mean, without your clothes on. Your Pilates clothes on. You look different, too.” Liam wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

“Well, now. At least buy me a drink before you start with suggestions like that,” Louis smirked, kicking Liam lightly in the shins. Liam smiled back and laughed a little. Maybe this wouldn’t be so different from Pilates class. He could do this.

“I’m here with some friends, this is my first time here. Have you been to this place before?"

Louis nodded. "Yep, I live around the corner. I'm not much of a cocktail guy, but this is our neighborhood bar."

 _"Our" neighborhood bar_ , Liam remembered. "Well, do you guys want to come sit with us? You and your friend, you can sit with us, if you want.”

Louis raised his eyebrows and placed a hand on his chest. “Leeyum, I thought you said you didn’t know I was here! How did you know I was with -” He paused for dramatic effect. “A friend?”

Liam didn’t know what to say to that. Luckily, Louis decided not to prolong his agony. “I’m kidding,” he said. “I know a lot of people don’t want to see their fitness instructor when they are out drinking on a Friday night and making bad decisions. Kind of a buzz kill. But I promise you, we fitness instructors make bad decisions, too.” He pushed off the wall and rubbed his hands together. “I’ll go get Zayn. I’m sure he’d love to join your group. He’s one of the most social people I know.”

Louis nudged Liam with his hip, and they walked out of the hallway together.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Liam couldn’t remember which number drink this was, and he didn’t really care. Zayn and Harry had made some game out of trying a different ridiculous drink every round, which brought out Harry’s competitive side. Liam could swear that Harry was making up the drink names by now, but apparently they were all real, and the alcohol was flowing. He could remember drinking something that was bright blue, and something that tasted like peppermint, and dropping a flaming shot into a pint glass. Unfortunately, the game was proving to be very successful.

“Okay, enough fucking around,” Niall announced, his face flushed. He stood up and pinched each of their cheeks in turn, then raised his glass. “Here’s to new friends, and Chicago, and just, like, fuck the bullshit, you know?” He took a sip and frowned at his drink.

“Yeah!” Harry hiccuped. He was resting his head on Zayn’s shoulder, who didn’t seem to mind. “Fuzzy nipples!”

Zayn was a college professor, Liam remembered that much. He worked at University of Chicago. He lived with Louis. They had moved here from Los Angeles. He was Louis’ best friend. _Friend_ , Liam thought, glancing in Louis’ direction. Louis’s face was red, and a little sweaty, and he was babbling about something to Niall. Niall nodded his head solemnly.

“What are you guys talking about?” Liam asked, allowing himself to lean into Louis’ space. Louis pushed him away.

“We’re talking about relationships, Liam. Heartbreak. Nothing you would know about.” Louis’ lips were pink and his eyes were a little glazed over. He smiled coyly in Liam’s direction and combed his fringe to the side with his fingers.

Niall grabbed Louis’ arm. “Actually, Liam would know about that, Liam is -”

“Liam is nothing!” Liam quickly finished, interrupting Niall. He pulled Niall’s cap down over his eyes. “Liam is nothing. Liam thinks too much, so Liam is trying not to think so much.”

Louis stared at Liam for a moment and the nodded his head. “Right. Here’s to not thinking so much.” He raised his glass and finished the last of his drink. Alcohol dribbled down Louis’ chin and neck, wetting the collar of his t-shirt. Liam really wanted to lick it.

“Louis, you're so dramatic,” Zayn groaned, shaking his head. “Don’t act like you just got your heart broken. You haven’t had a boyfriend in, like, five years.”

“But Zaaayn, I love the attention!” Louis whined, reaching across the table to rest his hand on Zayn’s arm. “Plus, we were talking about Niall’s heartbreak, not mine. Try harder.” Zayn narrowed his eyes at Louis and then bent to kiss his fingers, causing Louis to giggle and pull away.

“Niall is dating his hand,” Harry mumbled against Zayn’s shoulder, smiling stupidly.

Louis burst out laughing and collapsed against Liam, clutching at his arm. Liam was painfully aware of the way that Louis kept pressing against him, their thighs touching under the table, Louis nudging himself closer, almost draping himself against Liam’s side. He really liked it, and he really wished that Louis would stop doing it. He was far too drunk to have Louis so close. He hovered a hand above Louis’ thigh and then let it drop to his side, thinking better of it.

“Liam, why don’t I know anything about you?” Louis asked, turning Liam's head to face him and lightly tapping Liam's cheek with the palm of his hand.

Liam shrugged his shoulders. “Not much to say. I’m not a very interesting person.”

Louis bumped a closed fist against Liam’s glass, swaying slightly in his chair. “A man of few words. I can respect that. But seeing as we’re in a bar, and in a group of people, I think you should say something. Tell me something about yourself, something that you know I will find interesting.”

Liam wanted to tell Louis a lot of things. He wanted to lay in bed with Louis and whisper about their lives. He wanted to tell Louis about his daughter, and about his family, but not about his divorce. That was sad, and he was tired of feeling sad.

“I work on that construction site you hate, the one on Halsted street.” He said.

Louis immediately raised a hand and placed it over Liam’s face. “Liam, do NOT tell me that you are a construction worker.” He laughed incredulously. “Do not. Not here, not now. Not ever.”

“You don’t like construction workers?” Liam asked, his words muffled behind Louis’ hand.

Louis turned to look at Zayn, who wiggled his eyebrows. " _Like_ is definitely not the word." Zayn said, grinning.

"I cannot handle anything that is happening right now." Louis announced. "Why is my glass empty? Harry, stop sleeping and do something about this."

Harry frowned against Zayn's shoulder and opened his eyes slightly. "I'm not sleeping." He corrected. "Fuzzy nipples is a drink. A drink that we could drink."

“Did you guys know that Harry has four nipples?” Niall asked. His suddenly seemed to remember that he was wearing his pageboy cap, and he took it off and smiled lovingly, spinning it around on his hand.

"Nipples," Liam giggled.

“Christ, can someone order us another round so we can stop talking?” Louis sprawled out across the table and hid his head in his hands. 

After a round of fuzzy nipples, and one more  of something Zayn called a “fire engine” and that tasted like jagermeister and cotton candy, it was finally time to go. Harry had fallen asleep with his head on the table this time, and the bartender politely asked them to take him home. The five of them stumbled out into the night, Niall and Zayn supporting Harry, Louis tucked firmly into Liam’s side. They stopped at the curb and hailed two taxis.

“Leeyum, don’t tell anyone at the gym that you saw me like this,” Louis slurred, leaning against Liam’s arm. “I honestly could give a fuck what they think, but they want me to drink like, Kale smoothies and chia seeds, and I’m like, fuck yourselves.” He pushed back and smiled up at Liam.

“I think you’re a great Pilates instructor,” Liam said, going serious. At least he was trying to be serious, but his eyes were closed.

“Oh my GOD, Leeyum. Shut up and give me your phone number.” Louis shoved his phone in Liam’s face. Liam blinked a few times to focus on the screen and then typed his number in.

“I’ll text you!” Louis called out as Zayn pulled him into their taxi. Liam watched them drive away, then moved to help Niall put Harry in the car.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Liam woke up the next day with a pounding headache and a foggy memory. He must have passed out on the couch when he got home, because he was still wearing his clothes from last night. He checked his phone. 10 AM. He had to pick up Ruby from his parent’s house in two hours. He groaned and buried his head under a sofa cushion.

He made a strong pot of coffee and chugged most of it before hopping into the shower. The hot water on his head made him feel a lot better, and he tried to piece together the events from the night before. He had gone out with Niall and Harry. They had run into Louis and Zayn. They had many drinks. Liam placed a hand on his throbbing head. _Many, many drinks_. And Louis had taken Liam’s phone number and promised to text him. Liam remembered the feeling of Louis pressed against him, playful and nuzzling and warm. He closed his eyes and saw the alcohol dripping down Louis’ neck, only this time he was there, kissing it away, licking at Louis’ collarbone. Liam felt himself getting hard and he made quick work of it, leaning against the cool shower tile and imagining Louis’ hands in his hair.

He had two messages on his phone by the time he got out of the shower, and his heart skipped a beat.

The first was from his mom. _Hi sweetie we decided to take Ruby to the beach today hope you don’t mind! We’ll drop her off around 4. Hope you had fun with the boys last night :)_. Liam texted a response and whispered a silent prayer of thanks for having been born to such wonderful parents.

The second was from Niall. _i am never drinking again_.

Liam sent him a series of ambulance emojis and texted back _my parents are dropping off Ruby at 4, let me know if u need me to bring you anything_. Then, _love u, buddy_. Niall texted him a heart emoji with a bow around it.

Liam stared at his phone for a few minutes and then set it down on the coffee table. Louis was probably still asleep. He was just about to walk away when his phone buzzed.

_liam whatever your last name is, i cant believe you let me get so drunk last night_

Liam smiled, big and wide. His phone buzzed again.

_this is louis by the way_

Liam chuckled to himself and answered. _yeahhh, i am definitely feeling it this morning_. He pressed send and then typed another message. _My last name is Payne. what’s yours? how are you?_

_Tomlinson and I feel hungover and miserable but with no regrets. i had a lot of fun last night ;)_

Liam stared at his phone for a moment. What did the winky face mean? Whoever invented emoticons should be brought to justice for the angst they were causing Liam and every other person on this planet who texted with a person they maybe-possibly had a crush on.

_i had a lot of fun too. im glad u got to meet my friends_

Liam meant what he said, but reading back over his text, it seemed a little too serious. Why was he so bad at flirting? At texting? Liam hadn’t gotten his first cellphone until he was 21, and he and Katherine had already been married by then. He just hoped it would never come to sexting, because he would be totally lost. But he was getting ahead of himself.

 _ha ha yeah ur friends are great, even zayn liked them and that says a lot !!_ Then, a second later: _no pilates class tomorrow, but will u be there on monday? i like teasing u, it makes the class go faster :)_

Liam smiled and typed a response. _yeah, i’ll be there. see you then!_ He added a blushing smiley face emoji for effect. He wasn’t sure what this was, but it was definitely something.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

The Pilates class on Monday was Liam’s best yet. He had no problems with the swimmer pose, and his side bends felt effortless. Even Louis seemed to notice, stopping by every few minutes to observe Liam’s posture. Liam needed fewer and fewer corrections with each class, and now when Louis touched him, it was usually to encourage him to go deeper, to extend his legs further, to reach higher. Near the end of the class Liam made a last-ditch effort to grab his ankles in boat pose and ended up slipping. Louis tried to catch him, but Liam accidentally pulled them both to the ground, Louis landing on top of Liam's chest and almost knocking the wind out of him. They laughed and stayed together for a beat too long, grinning and giggling. Then Louis jumped up and brushed it off, quickly changing gears and instructing the class into a new posture. But not before Liam could see that he was blushing.

Liam was putting away his mat and equipment when Louis approached him. “You looked good today, Liam,” he said. Liam rubbed the back of his neck and smiled. “So I’ll see you next class?” Louis asked, his voice hopeful.

“Yes, I wouldn’t miss it.” Liam answered. Then they waved an awkward goodbye and Louis ducked out the door.

“What was that about?” Megan asked, coming up behind Liam. “What's up with you two?”

Liam turned around in horror. “NOTHING! I mean, nothing's up with us. I mean, I'm not... we're not…” Liam lowered his voice. “Why, does it look like something is up?”

Megan laughed and placed the last of her equipment on the shelf. “Liam, you are such a baby! Anyone with eyes can see that you two like each other.” Liam blushed deeply, and Megan rested a hand on his shoulder. “All I’m saying is that, if you like him, you should go for it! He’s cute.”

Liam scuffed his shoe across the floor. “Do you think he likes me?”

Megan rolled her eyes and pushed him toward the door.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

The locker room was filled with steam. Liam open his locker and shrugged off his sweaty t-shirt, digging through his bag for a clean one. The only shower stall was occupied, and he briefly considered making his way down to shower in the first floor lockers. _I'll just shower when I got home_ , he thought. The steam in the air clung to his skin, and he felt a drop of water run down his temple. This was almost as bad as working outside in the summer.

Liam pulled the fresh t-shirt down over his head and then opened his eyes to see Louis step out of the shower stall. The white towel around his waist hung dangerously low, and it looked like he hadn’t even bothered to towel off. His wet skin glistened in the white florescent lighting, and his body looked both powerful and delicate at the same time - all gently sloping curves and lean muscle. He was radiant. Liam's breath caught in his throat.

Louis looked up to see Liam staring at him and stopped dead in his tracks. They stood like that a moment, eyes locked, neither saying a word. Liam let his eyes drift to the dark tattoos that dotted Louis skin before clearing his throat.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said. He didn’t know what else to say. Louis stayed looking at him for a moment and then took a careful step forward. Liam felt his pulse quicken.

“I’m not,” Louis responded. His eyes traveled slowly over Liam's body, and Liam felt himself go warm all over. When Louis finally looked up again, his eyes glinted dangerously. “And I don’t think you’re so sorry, either.”

Liam followed Louis’ gaze down his body and realized that he had an erection, and it was pushing noticeably against his basketball shorts. He quickly reached to cover it with one hand, dropping his sports bag by his side. His cheeks burned with embarrassment.

Louis took another step toward him. He kept walking, slowly closing the space between them. Then he reached down and touched Liam’s wrist to gently pull his hand away. “What do you want from me, Liam?” He asked. He was so close, close enough for Liam to see the shadow that his eyelashes cast across his cheeks. Liam felt dizzy.

Louis placed his hand on Liam’s chest and stepped forward, backing Liam up against the lockers. Liam went willingly. “What do you want from me?” He repeated. His breath was airy and cool against Liam’s flushed skin, but his hand felt like it was burning a mark into Liam’s chest. Louis leaned in, testing, trapping Liam between himself and the locker door. He seemed much larger than his actual size, taller and wider and everywhere. Liam's eyelids fluttered shut. When nothing happened, he opened one eye to see Louis staring back at him, his eyes dark and dilated, the corners of his mouth raised in a satisfied smile. Liam felt a flash of anger, or lust, or both, surge through him. He grabbed Louis’ hips, pulled him close, and covered his mouth with his own.

The kiss deepened immediately. Louis licked hungrily into Liam’s mouth, whimpering, and Liam let him, pulling him closer, pressing Louis’ small frame against his body. Louis threw his arms around Liams neck and moved to slot their legs together, and Liam allowed his hands to wander - through Louis’ wet hair, over the top of his shoulder, down the curve of his back. He ran his hands over Louis’ ass and moaned when he realized the towel had fallen away. Liam squeezed firmly and pulled Louis up into his arms, relishing the way Louis’ slick body dampened his shirt, the way Louis’ hard cock rubbed against his own.

“Fuck, Liam!” Louis moaned, breaking their kiss and throwing his head back. Liam immediately latched onto Louis’ neck and enjoyed how Louis squirmed against him, grinding himself on Liam’s leg. He felt exhilarated, and more alive than he had in a very long time. He bit into Louis’ neck tentatively and laughed when Louis yelped.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Liam mumbled, trailing kisses along Louis’ jaw.

“Oh, it’s definitely happening.” Louis reached down to palm at Liam’s cock through his shorts, causing his knees to buckle.

Liam looked nervously over Louis’ shoulder toward the door. “What if someone sees us? Louis, you are na -” he groaned loudly as Louis pinched the tip of his cock, all previous concerns forgotten.

“I’ve never let that stop me before,” Louis teased. “But there is a supply closet around the corner, and if you can bear to stop touching me for five seconds I can get my keys…” Louis laughed brightly as Liam hoisted him up and made for the supply closet. “My keys!” He shouted, clinging to Liam’s neck.

Liam tried the supply closet door. _This is fate_ , he thought as it swung open. Louis reached in and turned on the light. _This has to be fate_ , he thought as Louis pulled him inside, tugging at the waist of his basketball shorts. He stumbled forward. _I’ve never liked anyone so much_ , Liam thought as Louis giggled and kissed him and wrapped an arm around his waist and shut the door behind them.

\------------------------------------------------------------

“Can I walk you out?” Liam asked. Class had ended a while ago, but a few students still lingered in the room.

Louis finished lacing up his sneakers and looked up at Liam, a slight smile hinting at his lips. “Yes, Liam.” He said, standing up. “You may walk me out.” Liam stooped down to pick up Louis’ gym bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He cast a quick glance in Megan direction as they walked out, and she gave him a thumbs up.

Liam followed Louis to his bike downstairs and watched as he crouched down to unlock it. They both stood for a while, Louis rocking on his toes and grinning. Liam handed him the gym bag.

“That’s my truck, over there.” He said.

Louis raised his eyebrows and nodded. “I remember. From the other night, in the parking lot.”

Liam swayed awkwardly for a moment before reaching forward to touch Louis’ arm. “I had a really good time with you, yesterday.”

Louis bit his lip and looked around, then gave Liam’s hand a squeeze. “Me, too. Who knew supply closets could be so fun?”

Liam grinned. “I was wondering,” he began, “I mean, I bet you’re really busy, and all, but I was wondering if you’d want to go to a baseball game with me on Thursday? Well, with me and my daughter.”

A brief look of shock passed across Louis’ face. “Daughter?” He croaked. “You have a daughter?”

“Yes,” Liam nodded. “Her name is Ruby. She’s almost six.”

Louis’ face softened. Suddenly he seemed to remember something, and he covered his face with his hands. “Oh, God,” he groaned. He opened his fingers to peer out at Liam. “Please tell me you are not married, Liam.”

Liam barked out a worried laugh. “No! I’m not married. I’m divorced, actually. About eight months ago. She moved away, to England. So now it’s just me and Ruby.”

Louis took a deep breath. “How long were you two together?”

“Twelve years.”

“How old are you?”

“30.”

“Have you dated anyone else since your divorce?”

“No.”

“Have you ever dated a guy before?”

Liam blushed. “No.”

Louis finally removed his hands from his face. His expression was warm, but worried. “Liam, I like you. You are sweet and cute as hell. But if I’d known that you just recently went through a divorce, and that you have a little girl, and, well…” He sighed. “Well, I wouldn’t have gotten… physical with you. So quickly.”

Liam felt all the air leave his lungs. “Oh,” he whispered.

Louis reached forward and squeezed his arm. “Please don’t be upset. We had fun, right? It’s just, I think you want something serious, and I am not in a place in my life where I can give that. I’m not looking for a serious relationship.”

“But neither am I!” Liam exclaimed. He rushed to continue. “I can see how hanging out with my daughter is kind of a big deal, I didn’t even think of that. I don’t know much about dating, honestly. I spent all of my 20's married, and I feel like there is this whole other part of life that I’ve never explored! I want to have fun, I want to try dating.” He dropped his voice. “I want to have _casual sex_.” Louis raised an eyebrow. “I mean it!” Liam continued. “I understand if you aren’t looking for anything serious, but neither am I. We could just, like… have fun.”

Louis shook his head. “Liam, I don’t know if you could handle fun.”

That stung. Liam felt the color rise in his cheeks. “Louis, no offense, but you don’t know me that well. I think I deserve a little more credit than that.”

Louis looked surprised. He gave Liam an appraising look, like he was searching for something. “Fair enough,” he finally said. “Why don’t we try this? I’ll go to the baseball game with you and Ruby, as your friend. We’ll hang out and eat hot dogs and drink soda, _as friends_. Then, we can go from there.”

Liam brightened immediately. “Great!” He chirped. “I’ll call you tomorrow with more details.”

Louis shook his head. He leaned forward slightly, as if pulled by some invisible string, then rocked back onto his heels. “Of course you will,” he smiled.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Liam pulled up to Louis’ house with three little girls in booster seats in the backseat of his truck. He smiled apologetically. “Did I mention that Thursday is “five dollar kid ticket” day at the Cell?”

Louis stuck his head into the passenger side window. “Hello!” He sang, smiling wide. “You must be Ruby. You look just like your Dad.”

“Hello, nice to meet you.” Ruby answered. “Marisol and Kyle are my friends from school.” The two little girls stared up at Louis, and he gave them each a wave as he climbed into the front seat.

“It’s nice to meet you all. Thanks for letting me crash your baseball game.” He gave Liam an impressed look.

“Papa said you are his new friend and that you're going to buy us a pop at the baseball game, is that true?” Ruby didn’t miss a beat. Liam winced, but Louis took it in stride, turning to Ruby with a serious face.

“Only if you all teach me about baseball. I don’t know a single thing about it.”

Marisol and Kyle giggled, and Ruby nodded her head. “Alright,” she said, and then turned back to her friends.

Louis buckled his seat belt. “You’re daughter is just like you, only smarter,” he said. He raised an eyebrow at Liam. “And as for the extra kiddos, well, you’re lucky I’ve got four younger sisters and that I’ve watched the babysitters club movie at least 20 times.” Liam shook his head and pulled away from the curb.

\---------------------------------------------

“Wait, so the runner has to stay on the base and wait for the other team to touch the ball before he can start running?”

Ruby shook her head. “No, that’s only fly balls. When that guy hits the ball, the people on the bases can run. It’s just, if it’s a fly ball, they have to go back and touch the base. So if it goes high up in the air, that guy waits to see if someone catches it. BEFORE it hits the ground. That part's very important.”

Louis nodded and passed his soda to Ruby, who took a long sip. “Thank you, that makes a lot of sense. I don’t know how you guys keep all these rules straight.”

Liam waved to the hot dog vendor. “I still can’t believe you know this little about baseball. How long have you lived in Chicago again?”

“Five years!” Louis huffed, accepting a hot dog from Liam and passing the rest along to the girls. “There are so many sports teams in this town, don’t expect me to know everything about every single one. I know even less about hockey, if you can imagine.” He licked a drop of mustard from his hand and took a big bite out of the hot dog, speaking with his mouth full. “Now soccer, that’s my sport. I’ve played soccer since I was a kid.” He turned to Ruby. “How are you even supposed to see what’s happening when the people are so far away?” Ruby helped herself to more of Louis’ soda and shrugged.

“Don’t forget your hot dog, Ruby,” Liam reminded her. Ruby looked contrite as she set down Louis’ soda and bit into her hot dog.

“It helps if you watch the game on TV,” Marisol offered.

Liam had to admit that it was pretty difficult to follow the game from up here. The “5 dollar kid tickets” were for nosebleed seats behind left field, and the players down below looked more like ants than people. The girls didn’t mind, because they spent most of the game babbling to each other and making up cheers. The baseball served more as a backdrop to their ongoing make-believe game where they were mermaids who could grow legs and walk on land.

“Come here, mermaids, let me put some sunscreen on those legs. They look like they haven’t seen the light in a long time.” The late-afternoon sun was beating down on them, and they had a while to go before the summer sun disappeared over the horizon. The girls giggled as Liam squeezed down the narrow aisle and slathered SPF 50 on the tops of their thighs.

“I like your shoes, Ruby,” Louis said, looking down to check out Ruby’s Timberlands.

She swung her feet back and forth and grinned. “Thank you, I got them for Grandma’s birthday party. Papa has a matching pair.”

Louis looked to Liam’s feet and then rolled his eyes. “Okay, now that is just disgustingly cute, Liam.” Liam wanted to tell Louis that his face was disgustingly cute, but was distracted by a loud crack that echoed through the stadium when Jose Abreu’s bat connected. The ball sailed through the air and all five of them jumped to their feet, hot dogs and candy wrappers flying. They watched as the ball landed in the seats below and fire works shot off overhead.

“Home Run!” The girls screamed, kicking their mermaid legs.

“Home Run!” Liam screamed, picking up Louis.

“What’s happening?” Louis yelled.

By the seventh inning, the girls were starting to complain about being tired, and Liam knew it was time to go home. They usually didn’t make it through the fifth inning, so he was actually pretty impressed. It must have been all the soda Louis kept sneaking them, or when he had taught them the “pitchers got a big butt” chant from Rookie of the Year. _Their parents are going to love that one_ , Liam thought.

They dropped off Kyle and Marisol first. Ruby was asleep in the backseat before they even made it to Louis’ house. “Tell Ruby I had fun and that it was nice to meet her,” Louis said. He gave Liam a quick hug and moved to get out of the car, then paused, turning back to him. “It was so cool to see you with your daughter like that,” Louis said. “You’re a really good Dad, Liam.”

Liam smiled. “She makes it easy.”

Louis knitted his eyebrows. “I don’t know your ex, but she must have been crazy to leave you two.” Liam’s face immediately clouded over, and Louis rushed to correct himself, placing his hand over Liam’s. “Ugh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, it was dumb. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

Liam shook his head. “No, it’s okay. We get by alright. To be honest, I used to be pretty depressed about it. That’s actually why I started taking the Pilates classes. To help my mood.” He looked over at Louis. “I feel a lot better now. Now that I’m working out, and now that we’re… friends.”

Louis lifted Liam’s hand and kissed it gently. “Goodnight, Liam,” he said before slipping out of the car.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Liam wasn’t quit sure he’s ever seen the world from this angle before. His hands and feet were firmly planted on the floor and he was holding himself up, belly toward the ceiling, in a backbend that Louis called “Wheel.”

“Keep pressing into those hands, Payno,” Louis said, stepping up beside him. He placed his hand under the small of Liam’s back and gently pushed upward. Liam pressed into his hands, sending his head and chest forward, and struggled to fill his lungs with air. “Breathe,” Louis instructed, pressing further. Liam grunted and made one big push, his arms finally extended. “Nice,” Louis said. He withdrew his hand, but not before gently pinching Liam in the side.

“I’d like to see you try this,” Liam muttered under his breath.

Louis crouched down beside his head. “I’m pretty sure you've seen some of the positions I can assume,” he whispered near Liam’s ear. Liam grunted in dismissal, like he hadn’t thought about their locker room encounter every day since it happened. He had a flashback of Louis kneeling in front of him, his eyes hungry, his lips slightly apart and swollen from kissing. One hand cupping Liam's ass and the other tugging down his basketball shorts. Liam's arms started to wobble and he fell to the floor.

He was walking down the hallway after class when Megan jogged up to him, linking their arms together. “Liam, I have been patient, but I am only human. You have to spill about you and Louis!”

Liam looked behind him nervously and kept walking, pulling Megan with him. “There’s nothing to tell,” he said.

“Yeah, right! I saw him whispering something in your ear today in class! I've never seen a person turn that shade of red. What do you expect me to believe, that you have some medical condition where you can’t hear upside down and so he had to lean in extra close and basically smush your faces together?”

Liam shrugged. “I’m not a doctor.”

"Liam!" Megan laughed, yanking him into a doorway. “Look, I’m not going to push you, so I’ll ask you one more time, and then I will shut up about it forever. Are you and Louis dating?”

Liam shook his head. “No.”

“Are you hooking up?”

“No, we’re just friends.”

Megan stepped back and narrowed her eyes. “But you _have_ hooked up…” She ventured. Liam quickly looked around and covered her mouth with his hand, causing her to giggle.

“Shhhh!” He pleaded. “Okay, we have hooked up, but then I told him that I had a kid and things got weird and now we're just friends.” He released Megan with a sigh. “It’s all really confusing.”

Megan gave Liam a sympathetic look. “You’d think dating would get easier as we get older, but I feel like it just gets more complicated. Us old folks come with a lot of parts and accessories.”

“Yeah,” Liam agreed. “I’m pretty sure I still like him, but I don’t want to lose him as a friend.”

Megan thought about that for a moment. “Look, Liam, there are a ton of people in the world. If Louis said he just wants to be friends, then you can decide whether or not you want him in your life like that. If you do, well, then you get a cool, new friend, and you can go out and date one of the few hundred other people in Chicago that I am sure would be dying for a chance at you.”

Liam smiled appreciatively. “Thanks, Megan. I’m sure I’ll figure it out.”

Megan gave Liam a hug. “Now, come back with me upstairs. I left my bag up there when I was chasing after you. You move fast, for a clumsy guy.” She smiled and linked their arms together again.

\-------------------------------------------------

Liam sat in his truck, staring at his phone, contemplating whether he should send the text or just delete it and go inside. The free smart phone he had got from Niall seemed to be mocking him, both because it would never hold a charge and also because it displayed the text brightly, challenging him to hit send.

_Hi Louis, hope you’re doing well! Would you want to grab dinner with me sometime this week?_

He had gone back and forth between dinner and the less-committal sounding beer at least a hundred times. But he really wanted to take Louis to his favorite pizza place in Bridgeport. For dinner. He closed his eyes and hit send. The answer came back almost immediately.

_liiiam ! look who finally remembered about texting ! :) id love to. when/where ?_

Liam felt his heart beating against his rib cage. He couldn’t type back fast enough.

 _How about tomorrow? I want to take you to this pizza place near my work. I can pick you up around 6?_ He typed out another text. _Sorry for the early dinner, its just that Harry can watch Ruby, but I don’t want to make him stay out too late._ He pressed send.

_no problem, i am always hungry, so early is good. why dont i just meet you at work after my pilates class and we can drive together ?_

_Ok, its a friend date._ Liam added a thumbs up emoji to show he was joking.

_LOL ok liam. see you tomorrow ;)_

Again, with the winky face. Liam closed his eyes and hugged his piece of shit phone to his chest.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Who’s that?” Niall asked. He and Liam were doing the final inspection on a new stretch of pipe, making sure that all the connections were properly sealed. Liam shaded his eyes and saw a man on a road bike coming toward them through the construction site. In fact, everyone was noticing him, and Liam saw a few of his coworkers take off their hardhats and scratch their heads.

 _He really has no shame_ , Liam thought, laughing to himself. “That’s Louis, my Pilates teacher. You remember, from that bar in Wicker Park. We’re going to grab some pizza.” He raised a hand and waved in Louis’ direction, watching as Louis wove his way around piles of drywall scraps and moving construction equipment.

“Leeyum!” Louis called out, waving back. A forklift honked its horn at him and Louis almost lost his balance, swerving out of the way just in time to avoid being run over. Liam laughed.

“Oh yeah, from the fancy bar,” Niall remembered out loud as Louis pulled up next to them. Louis climbed off his bike and wiped his forehead, grinning.

“I didn’t know when you’d be off work, so I thought I’d just come in and find you,” Louis said. "Plus, this project is my arch enemy, and I wanted to see what Mordor looked like from the inside." He was wearing a simple red t-shirt with a low neck, the one that showed off his collarbones and that populated many of Liam's Louis-centric fantasies. Fuck.

"Hi, Louis." Liam smiled.

“Hi, Liam. And Niall.” Louis went to shake Niall’s hand, but Niall pulled him into a quick hug, clapping his hand on Louis’ back a few times before releasing him. Louis grinned back at Niall and fanned himself with his hand. “Fuck, it’s hot out here. Do you guys have any water?”

Liam handed Louis a bottle of water and proceeded to stare, transfixed, as Louis dumped the entire thing over the top of his head. The water made his t-shirt cling to his chest and abdomen, leaving little to the imagination. Louis shook out his hair and handed the bottle back to Liam. “Thanks,” he smiled, wiping his face with his hand.

 _You’ve got to be fucking kidding me_ , Liam wanted to say. He bit his lip roughly. “No problem,” he replied.

They made their way toward the office trailer, Louis pushing his bike, Niall trailing behind them. A small group of workers were already lined up to punch out for the day, and they moved to the side as Louis approached. “Sorry,” Louis apologized, maneuvering his bike through the crowd. He set the bike against a railing and stretched his hands above his head, revealing the flat surface of his belly and a line of fine hair that disappeared below the waist of his jeans. Everyone was staring, but Louis seemed oblivious. “Leeyum, do you have to wait in this long line? I’m super hungry.” He leaned back against the railing and ran his fingers through his wet hair.

“You guys can go ahead of me, if you like,” Somebody offered. Louis flashed him a blinding smile, and Liam could swear he saw the guy blush.

“Yeah, you guys can cut ahead, no worries.” The guy in the front of the line stepped aside.

“Thanks so much!” Louis nodded, gently nudging Liam towards the stairs. Liam took the cue and climbed the stairs to punch out ahead of everyone else. 

“Tell Louis to come meet us at the end of every work day,” Niall commented, following Liam up the stairs.

“You knew just what you were doing back there, didn’t you?” Liam asked later as he and Louis loaded Louis' bike into the bed of his truck. 

Louis shrugged his shoulders. “Liam, I now have a friend who is a bona fide, honest-to-god construction worker. Allow me to have a little fun.” His eyes sparkled playfully.

Liam closed the tailgate and walked around to open Louis’ door. “So you have _do_ a thing for construction workers, huh?” he asked. He took Louis’ hand and helped him up into the truck.

Louis glanced down, his eyes lingering on Liam's toolbelt. “Nope,” he replied, his voice thick and distracted. He shook his head. “I don't know what put that idea into your head, Liam. Now, let’s get going on this friend date. Stop dawdling.”

Liam grinned triumphantly and shut the car door.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

They went to dinner at Phil’s Pizza on 35th street. Liam had been going there since he was a kid. The pizza was good, but more importantly, it was meaningful. This was where his parents had taken him to eat after his high school graduation ceremony, and where they had celebrated Ruby’s third birthday party. The smells of italian spices, of oregano and tomatoes and garlic, of yeast and pork sausage, they transported Liam back to simpler times, when he was a bright faced teenager, eager and excited about the future. Going to Phil’s made him feel like he was getting to spend time with that Liam again. And he wanted to share that part of himself with Louis, in the only way he knew how.

“Here, try this,” Liam beamed, passing Louis a slice of thin crust pizza. The cheese was bubbled up and well-browned on top, with orange grease from the Italian sausage pooling in its indentations.

Louis took a big bite and moaned happily. “God, I love Chicago,” he said, chasing the pizza with a long sip from his fountain drink. “For a while I thought I wouldn’t be able to survive outside of California because I’d miss In-n-Out burgers too much, but all this pizza has been truly lifesaving.” He took another bite, the cheese stretching out between the pizza and his mouth. His eyes rolled up into his head. “I fucking looooove pizza.”

Liam chuckled and served Louis another piece before helping himself. “I can tell. You know, every time I go out with Niall and Harry for pizza, Harry asks us to choose between pizza and sex. Every single time.”

Louis finished off his first slice and licked his fingers. “Like, if you could only have one or the other? Pizza, but no sex, or sex, but no pizza?”

“Yeah,” Liam responded. He popped a piece of Italian sausage into his mouth.

“Which one would you choose?” Louis asked.

Liam shrugged his shoulders. “Well, it would depend on the sex, and on the pizza.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “That is such a cop out, Liam. Pizza, every single time. Can you imagine a world without pizza?”

“Can you imagine a world without sex?”

Louis waved his hand in dismissal. “Trust me, sex can be very, very disappointing. But even the worst pizza in the world is still better than most things.” Louis wrapped his lips around the tip of his straw and sucked gently, gazing up at Liam through thick eyelashes.

 _Sex._  Liam's mind raced incoherently. _Sex with Louis. Sex with Louis Pizza. Pizza Sex Louis Eyelashes Mouth Tongue Sex._ Louis seemed to read his mind and kicked Liam under the table, causing him to jump and bite the inside of his cheek.

“Are you surprised that your Pilates teacher lives off of junk food and excessive amounts of alcohol?” Louis asked, changing the subject.

Liam stuck his finger in his mouth and rubbed the inside of his cheek. “Kind of. To be honest, you seem like the exact opposite of what a fitness instructor should be. How did you get into Pilates, anyway?”

Louis burped under his breath. “Sorry. Well, I studied musical theater in college - do NOT laugh! - and I needed to earn some extra money, so one of my friends got me a gig teaching basic fitness at the university gym. It was mostly jump rope and step aerobics and sit ups, super simple. Anyway, they had this free teacher training course for yoga, and Zayn dared me to sign up, as a joke. He was my freshman year roommate. So I took the course but ended up dropping out after like three classes. I couldn’t handle all the Namaste stuff, it seemed fake and pretentious to be talking about Asanas and “setting intentions for your practice” in a florescent, mirrored room with a bunch of 19-year-olds who were clearly there just to get better bodies. When I work out, I don’t want to meditate or find zen. I want to sweat and have a good time.”

Liam nodded his head. “Then why Pilates?”

Louis took a sip of soda. “Pilates was basically the same as yoga, but without all the Namaste. Plus, the yoga and Pilates classes paid more, because they required teacher training. So it came down to money.”

“Do you like teaching Pilates?”

Louis finished chewing his pizza. “Yes, I’ll admit it, I like teaching Pilates. It pays well, and it’s actually really good cross training for soccer. And I can do it anywhere in the world. When Zayn got the job out here in Chicago, I was like, fuck it, why not, I’ll go with you. I wouldn’t be able to do that so easily if I had an office job.”

Liam wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Why did you want to leave Los Angeles?”

The question caused Louis to bristled, but he quickly shook it off. “I was just ready for a change, is all,” he replied. His tone was light but he didn't look up from his pizza. And he didn't elaborate.

They ate in silence for a while, Louis chewing loudly, Liam trying to figure out if he had upset him. Finally Louis cleared his throat and spoke. “So, Liam. There is one slice of pizza left. And if I’m doing my math correctly, I’ve had four pieces, and you’ve had three. That means this last slice is yours. However,” he said, leaning in, “I really want this last slice. So, I will make you a deal. If you let me have this slice of pizza, I will try my best not to be a complete, closed off ass and to talk about my life. I can’t promise anything, except that I will try. Do we have a deal?”

Liam picked up the pizza and gently placed it on Louis’ plate. “You can always have the last slice of pizza, Louis.” He said.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

It was dark outside by the time they pulled up to Louis’ apartment. Liam turned to Louis and smiled, moving to unbuckle his seat belt so that he could help Louis with his bike. “Do you want to come up?” Louis asked. “Just for a bit,” he added, quickly. “For a beer, or something. I’m having a nice time.”

Liam stared at Louis for a moment. The light from the porch lamp cast shadows across the angles of his face, and his hair had dried into soft tangles. He looked utterly beautiful.

“I don’t want to keep Harry out late,” Liam said.

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind staying over for a bit longer. Send him a text.”

“I’m being influenced,” Liam remarked out loud. He sent Harry a text and followed Louis into his apartment building.

“I have Miller light, Miller Genuine Draft, and Miller Genuine Draft.” Louis called out from the kitchen. “I’ll bring one of each.”

Liam stuffed his hands in his pockets and wandered around the living room. There was a bookshelf full of books about art history, and framed photos of Louis and Zayn. Zayn had long hair in most of them, and Louis was wearing glasses. These must have been from college. A photo of Louis with an older woman and four little girls caught Liam’s eye. Louis was smiling so wide it almost hurt to look at him. He looked very happy and very, very young.

“Those are Zayn’s textbooks.” Louis said, making his way to the couch. “And that photo is of my family. My parents got divorced when I was a kid. That's my mom, and my little sisters. They all still live in L.A.”

Liam accepted a beer from Louis and settled into the couch beside him. “I have two older sisters," he said. "One of them lives in New York, and the other lives here. My parents live here, too. I’m actually born and raised in Bridgeport. Never lived outside of Chicago.”

Louis took a sip of his beer. “Yeah, you seemed like a born and bred Chicago guy. If sports and pizza are any indication.”

“Pretty boring, huh?” Liam replied, forcing a laugh.

Louis moved to drape his leg over Liam’s. “Liam, I am not going to dignify that with a response. If you learn one thing about me tonight, let it be that I don’t hang out with boring people.”

Liam ached to touch Louis, to pull him close to his chest and kiss him deeply. He settled for placing his hand on Louis’ knee and running the tip of his finger over the inseam of his jeans.

Louis’ eyes fluttered closed. He leaned back against the armrest, stretching out across the couch so that both of his legs were in Liam’s lap. “Liam, tell me about when you were a teenager. What were you like?”

“I was a normal teenager, just liked to hang out with Niall and go to White Sox games,” Liam said, taking a sip of his beer. “I was quiet and shy. I really liked to sing, but I was terrified of people making fun of me, so I only sang in front of family and friends.”

Louis smiled. “I bet you sing to Ruby all the time.”

“Yeah, she really likes to sing. And she’s got a good voice, too. She is obsessed with Frozen right now. She knows all the songs by heart.”

Louis opened one eye and poked Liam with his toe. “More about you,” he prodded.

Liam scratched his head. “Well, I was basically invisible until senior year. And I didn't really mind it. But when I turned 18, that's when Katherine, my ex-wife, that’s when we started dating. I’m still not sure why she wanted to go out with me. She was so cool, and she liked me so much, and being with her made me feel good about myself." Liam looked down at his hands. "Thinking back on it, I didn't really have much going on beyond our relationship. That's probably why it ended up going stale. I honestly think it was Ruby that kept us together, those last five years.”

Liam looked over to see Louis staring up at him. His eyes shone in the dim light from the kitchen.

“Come here,” Louis whispered. He reached his arms out and Liam came willingly, folding himself against Louis and resting his head on his chest. Liam closed his eyes and listened to the echo of Louis’ heartbeat.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

“I feel like my lungs are about to burst!” Zayn wheezed, jumping over the rope. His face was getting red, and he held his pants with one hand to keep them from sliding down.

“We can go faster, if you like!” Niall teased. He and Ruby were turning the rope, and Niall jiggled his hand a little to make it jump unevenly against the blacktop. Zayn shot him a look.

“Just start the song,” he warned. Niall and Ruby began to sing.

 _Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear,_  
_Turn around._  
_Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear,_  
_Touch the ground._  
_Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear_  
_Touch your shoe._  
_Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear_  
_That will do._

Zayn followed their instructions, spinning in a circle, touching the ground and touching his shoe, all while managing to continue jumping over the rope. Harry and Liam watched the scene from a blanket on the grass.

“How did they convince Zayn to do that, again?” Harry asked.

Liam stretched out on his back, watching the clouds move slowly across the sky. “He's is the biggest softie of us all,” he answered. “Though I’m sure it had something to do with a dare.”

Liam loved afternoons like this. The hot summers promised a respite from the bitter winters, a chance to swim in the lake and play in the park and barbecue. He and Niall and Harry always made a weekend of it, packing off with Ruby for little day trips to tailgate at the Sox games or swim at the beach. Zayn and Louis had come along, these last few times. Louis was starting to learn more about baseball, and he was teaching Ruby how to play soccer. Zayn had even organized a trip for all of them to the Field Museum, which Liam hadn’t visited since he was a kid. Ruby absolutely loved it. She had followed Louis around the entire museum, pulling him with her to check out the butterfly wings and climbing up on his back to get a better look at the dinosaur skeletons. Once, she fell down the stairs and scraped her knee, and instead of running to Liam, she had climbed up into Louis’ arms. That was a little weird. But Louis had hugged her and carried her over to Liam, and as soon as she saw him she reached for him. Liam had felt a guilty sense of relief. At least he was still her favorite.

“Where’s Louis?” Harry asked, breaking Liam’s thoughts. He bit into a watermelon slice and wiped the juice from his chin with the back of his wrist.

Liam checked his watch. “I don’t know, he said he was going to bike over here after work. His class got out at 2:30, so he should be here soon.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Well, aren’t you two domestic. Do you have his whole work schedule memorized?”

Liam lifted his leg and kicked Harry in the knee. “No, I do not."

Harry looked down at Liam and smiled, bringing out the dimples in his cheeks. He blinked for a moment and his expression softened, like he was about to say something, but a movement to the right caught his attention, and he stopped himself.

“Louis’ here,” he grinned.

Liam lifted himself up on his elbows and turned around to see Louis peddling across the grass. He was wearing a t-shirt and jean shorts that were rolled above the knee.

“Hiiii, Louis, I like your shorts,” Harry greeted him.

Louis set his bike down on the grass and unclipped his bike helmet, shaking out his hair. He had rolled his eyes when Liam gave him the helmet a few weeks ago, but he seemed to be using it. “Hiiii, Harry, I like your flowers,” Louis a mimicked, plopping himself down on the blanket next to Liam. His knee was near Liam’s face, and Liam headbutted it affectionately. Louis rested a hand on the top of his head.

Harry glanced down at Louis' hand, almost too quickly to be noticed, and then reached up to touch the flowers that Ruby had placed behind his ears. “You like them? I think they may be full of ants.” He scratched behind his ear and shrugged his shoulders.

Louis dug into the cooler and pulled out water bottle. “I can’t believe you guys got Zayn to jump rope,” he said, shaking his head at his friend.

“I heard that!” Zayn called out to them, jumping out of the rope. Ruby and Niall turned to see Louis and waved.

“Louis, come jump with us!” Ruby yelled out. Louis looked down at Liam and rubbed his arm.

“Your daughter  _loves_ me, did you know that?” He said. Liam rolled his eyes. “I’m on my way!” Louis called back to her. He stood up and pulled Liam to his feet. “You’re dad even volunteered to turn the rope, isn’t he the best?”

“Papa!” Ruby shrieked, the excitement building in her voice. Liam laughed and pinched Louis in the side before walking over to take the rope from Niall. 

“Okay you two, I’m going to run in, so get that rope going!” Louis began to stretch, reaching his arms out to the sides and touching his toes. Ruby laughed, and Liam couldn't keep himself from grinning. This really was the perfect day. He and Ruby turned the rope in big circles, watching it loop around and slap against the blacktop.

“One!” Liam counted, “Two! Three!”

Louis ran toward the spinning rope and ducked beneath it, jumping just in time as it passed beneath his feet. His hair flopped all around his head as he jumped up and down, bouncing on his toes. “Easy, peasy,” he said.

Ruby began to sing a verse.

 _Down in the valley_  
_Where the green grass grows_  
_There sat Louis_  
_Sweet as a rose._  
_He sang, he sang_  
_He sang so sweet_  
_Along came Papa_  
_And kissed him on the cheek._

Louis glanced up at Liam, almost stumbling over the rope. Niall barked out a laugh.

 _How many kisses_  
_Did he give him?_  
_1, 2, 3, 4, 5…_

Louis appeared to slow down, letting the rope hit his ankles. “Oops, you got me there!” He said, shaking his head. His face was bright red, and Liam wondered whether it was entirely from the jumping.

“Louis, that was too short!” Ruby chided him. “You have to jump again!”

Louis ran over and scooped her up into his arms. “How about we swing for a little bit instead, while Niall and Zayn start the grill?” He said, loud enough so everyone could hear. “I’m starving.” Ruby wiggled out of his arms and ran toward the swing set, Louis jogging along behind her.

Niall and Zayn walked to the car to get the charcoals for the grill. They had become quite the grilling duo, with Niall showing Zayn how to get the charcoal to just the right temperature, and Zayn sharing his “Malik family recipe” rubs with Niall. Liam, however, was much better at making the side dishes. He walked back to the blanket where Harry was seated to fetch the bowl of macaroni salad from the cooler.

“What?” Liam asked, noticing Harry staring at him.

Harry smiled softly. “I didn’t say anything.”He said. He reached up and pulled a petal from the flower in his hair, inspecting it thoroughly.

\-----------------------------------------------------

They packed up everything and said goodbye to the guys before loading Louis’ bike into the truck. The plan had been to take Ruby to Scoops ice cream shop for a sundae before heading home, but it was quickly becoming clear that that would not work out. It was too close to bedtime, and Ruby was verging on meltdown territory. “I don’t WANT to go home!” She whined, her arms crossed over her chest. Her curly hair was falling out of her ponytail, and her cheeks were burned from the sun. Liam glanced in the rear-view mirror and scolded himself for not having applied more sunscreen to her little pink face.

“Ruby, we can go to Scoops another time. Remember how we talked about if we stayed at the park for longer, we would have to go get ice cream another day?” Liam hoped the gentle reminder would work, but he knew that his appeals to reason would not win over a tired six-year-old. Ruby buried her face in her arms and continued sulking.

Louis looked over at Liam and smiled sympathetically. “I can help you unload the truck and then I’ll head home on my bike, no worries.” Liam gave him a thankful nod.

By the time they unloaded the truck, Ruby was in a pile on the floor, her tears wetting the Frozen pillow hugged tightly to her chest. “I don’t WANT to go to bed!” she cried, her words muffled. Liam bent down to pick her up and she rolled away.

“Ruby,” Liam coaxed, running a hand over his daughter’s back, “let’s say goodnight to Louis and then I’ll tuck you in. We can read the Berenstain Bears.”

Louis held up his hand. “It's okay, she doesn’t have to say goodnight if she doesn’t want to. Me and Ruby can hang out again soon. Maybe we can all go to Scoops later this week?”

Ruby looked up from her pillow. Her face was red and wet with tears, and snot was beginning to pool on her upper lip. “Is Louis leaving?” She asked, her voice trembling. Louis nodded and Ruby scrambled to her feet, running to hug his leg. He crouched beside her and hugged her close. “Please don’t leave, Louis!” Ruby wailed, wiping her slimy face on his shirt sleeve. “Don’t leave! I don’t want Louis to leave!” Her sobbing started to slow, and she squeezed his neck. “I don’t want Louis to move to England.”

Liam felt all the air go out of him at once. The room felt incredibly small, all of a sudden. He looked to Louis, who was looking down at Ruby with a confused expression. Then Louis seemed to realize what Ruby had said and he quickly looked up at Liam, his eyes big with worry. They stared at each other, not knowing what to say, as Ruby sobbed softly against Louis’ neck.

 _The thing is, Liam, I don’t want you to come with me. To England. What does that mean?_ Liam felt the walls closing in around him. Did Ruby miss Katherine? Of course she missed her mother. How could he not have noticed? Was he too busy, thinking about himself? How could he be so selfish?

Louis looked back to Ruby and held her close. “I’m right here, Ruby,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. He picked her up and swayed her back and forth, rocking her softly. “Let’s go read your bedtime story, and I’ll stay until you fall asleep.” He carried her toward Liam and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Come on, Liam. Let’s get your little girl to bed.”

Liam was in a daze. He watched as Louis rinsed Ruby’s face with cool water and then helped her into her PJs, watched as he tucked her covers up around her shoulders, sat on the bed and listened as Louis read her the Berenstain Bears book. When Ruby was finally asleep, he quietly followed Louis out into the living room and closed the door.

“Has she ever said that before?” Louis asked. They stood in the dark by the front door. Liam felt Louis’ hand on his cheek. “Liam,” he said.

Liam started and looked up, like he was waking from a dream. “No, she’s never said anything like that before. I mean, when Katherine first left, she cried a lot, but not about anything specifically. And we talk to Katherine on Skype almost every night. She seems happy, when we all talk on Skype.” Liam needed to sit down. He moved to the sofa and rested his head in his hands.

Louis made no move to follow him. “I hope I didn’t overstep back there, offering to tuck her in.” He said. “I just, she was crying, and you looked completely stunned, and I… I didn’t know what else to do.”

Liam rubbed his temples. “No, thank you for that, that was really nice. It’s not your fault. She was just tired, and upset. I’m not sure why she said that.” They were silent for a while. Liam’s head was throbbing. He felt like he was going to be sick. "I don't think I can really talk right now, Louis. Maybe you should go home." He was sure he was going to be sick.

“Liam,” Louis began. He sounded far away, like he was across the room and not a few feet from Liam. “Fuck.” He whispered. Far away.

When Liam finally looked up, he was gone.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

It took Liam about a week to work up the courage to return to Pilates class. He had made a complete ass of himself the last time he and Louis saw each other. He should have rushed to comfort his daughter, or made light of what she said, because of course she was missing her mother, and it was only natural for her to be sensitive about other adults in her life leaving, too. Liam should have handled it better. Instead he had shut down. Louis had taken care of everything, and then Liam told him to leave. And he did, leave. Of course, Ruby had woken up the next morning and gone about her life as if nothing had happened. She was a child, and the state of the world was not so permanent in her eyes. Ruby was resilient. Liam, however, was a grown man with a lot of broken-down parts.

Louis finally approached Liam about halfway through the class. “I wondered what had happened to you,” he said, lightly pushing against Liam’s wrist to correct his posture. His smile was warm, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I know, I just didn’t know how to, I mean, I didn’t…”Liam quickly glanced around and room and looked back to Louis. “Can I talk to you, after class?”

Louis ran his hands through his hair and sighed, his composed exterior slipping for a moment. He looked tired. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I’ll meet you down in the parking lot.” He pulled on Liam’s ankle. “Extend, Liam,” he said before walking away.

Megan caught up with Liam in the hallway as he was heading downstairs to meet Louis. “Where have you been, I was getting worried about you!” She said, giving him a hug. Liam squeezed her back. “Are you okay?” She asked when they finally broke apart. She searched his face, her eyes full of concern. “You don’t look okay. Do you want to talk about it?”

Liam took a deep breath and sighed. “It’s kind of a long story. I just, well, me and Louis had a weird interaction the other night. My daughter was crying, asking him not to move to England, which is where my ex-wife is living, and, well, I kind of freaked out and haven’t spoken to him since.”

Megan placed her hand on Liam’s arm. “I’m sure it will be okay. Just talk to him. You and Louis are so cute together, I’m sure everything will work out in the end.”

Liam nodde his head and then glanced up to see Louis looking back at him from down the hall. Louis just stood there, staring, his messenger bag slung across his back and his helmet in his hand. His eyes flashed, cold and angry, and then he was gone, walking down the steps, leaving. Liam shot Megan an apologetic look and jogged after him.

“Louis, wait!” Liam called, finally catching up with him in the parking lot. Louis was hurriedly stabbing at his bike lock with his keys. “What’s wrong?” Liam asked. Louis finally wrenched the lock away and placed the bike squarely between them.

“What the hell was that?” He asked, his voice low and even. “Did I just hear you talking to Megan about us? Why would you be talking to another student about us?”

Liam stepped back slightly, surprised. “Talking about us? Megan is my friend, she was just asking how I was doing -”

“Why did she say _You guys look cute together_. Why would she say that, Liam, unless you told her we were together?” Louis narrowed his eyes.

“Louis, I never said that, I never told her, I mean, I told her that we hooked up, but never that we were-”

“You WHAT?” Louis hissed, furious. He quickly looked around the parking lot and then continued. “Liam, what the fuck is the matter with you? Why would you tell someone at my work about that?”

Liam furrowed his eyebrows. “Megan is my friend! I tell my friends about my life. Why is this such a big deal?”

Louis leaned across the bike. “This is a big deal, Liam, because we are not together. It may not seem like it, but I am a very private person. I don't like to think that people are talking about me.” He quickly raised his hand and shook his head. “You know what? Let’s not do this right now. I have to get going.” Louis climbed up on his bike and moved a few feet before stopping and turning back around. His helmet sat crooked on his head, and the bags hung heavy under his eyes. The light was gone from his face. “What were we thinking, Liam?” He asked.  

Liam just stared back at him. He felt like he might cry. Louis biked away.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

“What’s up with you, Payno?” Niall asked, biting his nails. He nudged Liam’s shoulder and laughed nervously, but Liam didn’t look up from his beer.

“Liam, tell us why you asked us to come meet you here, or Niall might have a stroke.” Harry said. He reached over and waved his hand in front of Liam’s face.

Liam looked up at his friends and sighed heavily. “Harry, Niall, I have something serious to tell you guys. I know this will be a complete shock, but I need to talk to somebody about it.” He took a sip of his beer and closed his eyes for a moment. “Louis and I had sex.”

Niall almost spit out his beer and ended up coughing instead, beating his hand against his chest. Harry rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Liam, we figured as much,” he said.

Niall regained his breath and punched Liam in the arm. Hard. “Liam, why the fuck did make such a big deal out of this? I thought someone had DIED! I can’t believe you marched us out with all the buildup of a firing squad just to let us know that you banged Louis.”

Liam was stunned. “Wait, you knew? How?”

Niall shook his head. “It was pretty obvious by the way you guys acted around each other. Also, Harry knows immediately when anyone around him is having sex, because he’s a pervert like that. Plus, Zayn confirmed it.”

“You guys talked to ZAYN about this? All together?” Liam rested his head on the bar top. “My life is over. Louis is never going to speak to me again.”

Harry patted Liam on the back. “Don’t worry, we’re all adults here. Sex is part of human nature, you don’t need to feel embarrassed. I mean, I really want to embarrass you right now, but I can wait until you feel better about the whole thing.”

“It’s not just the sex,” Liam groaned, not lifting his forehead from the bar. “The reason I brought you here and the reason I was all serious is because I think I am in love with Louis.”

“Wait, you’re in _love_ with him?” Niall exclaimed. “Liam, that’s fucking incredible! I’m so happy for you.” Liam groaned again and hid his face in his hands. Niall peeled a few fingers away to get a good look at him. “Why are you being sad? Isn’t that good news?”

“No, it’s not good news, because we aren’t speaking right now.” Liam lifted his head and sighed. “We had this weird interaction with Ruby where she basically conflated Louis leaving my house with Katherine moving to England, and I freaked out, and then we got in a fight outside the gym because he found out that I told someone that we had hooked up, and _he_ freaked out, and now I haven’t seen or heard from him in over a week.” Liam stared wistfully into this beer. “I fucked everything up, you guys. I lost him, as a friend… and as a lover.”

Harry put his hand over the top of Liam’s beer. “Liam, apart from the fact that you just said the word “lover” without any sense of irony, you did not fuck things up. You guys are in an awkward, strange, adult situation, and you are both too chicken shit to talk about it. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and Louis is insanely private and guarded and you can’t tell how he feels about you. So just go talk to him!”

Niall leaned back in his bar stool. “Harry is right. As far as I’m concerned, you two need to have it out. Have a real heart-to-heart. Tell him how you feel, Liam.”

“Plus, think of the amazing makeup sex you could be missing,” Harry said with a smirk. Niall pulled him into a headlock.

“You guys are right,” Liam said, standing up from the bar. “I just need to go talk to him! What have I got to lose, we aren’t talking anyway!” He picked up his beer and made to chug it before thinking better. “Probably shouldn’t drink and drive,” he said, setting it back down.

“There’s the responsible Liam we know and love!” Niall cheered.

“Go get him, you sensible man!” Harry cried from under Niall’s arm.

Liam kissed Niall on the forehead, patted Harry's shoulder, grabbed his car keys and ran out the door.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Liam pressed the buzzer a second time, but nobody answered. He was about to head back to the truck and send Louis a text when a voice came through the intercom. “Hello?” It crackled, long and low. Zayn.

“Zayn, it’s Liam. How are you? Is Louis there?”

Static, and then a response. “Hi Liam. I’m fine. And Louis is here, but he’s telling me he isn't.” There was some background noise and a high pitch shriek. Zayn’s voice cut out, and returned a few moments later. “Sorry about that. I’m going to buzz you in.” The door to the apartment building clicked open and Liam headed upstairs.

Zayn was waiting for him at the front door. “Hi Liam, good to see you.” He gave Liam a brief hug and stepped aside to let him into the apartment. “Louis is in the kitchen, pretending to be busy. I told him you were coming up.”

“Honestly, Zayn, can I get a fucking break?” Louis yelled from the kitchen. There was a loud crash that sounded like pots and pans falling onto the flour. Louis cursed. Liam moved toward the kitchen, thinking to help, but Zayn laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Just wait a sec,” he whispered. They stood near the door for a few moments, Liam shifting uncomfortably in his shoes, Zayn leaning against the wall.

The frenzied noise from the kitchen began to subside. Finally, Louis’ head peered out from behind the kitchen door. He looked between them both, then narrowed his eyes at Zayn. “What are you guys talking about?” He asked, his voice accusing. He paused, then turned his attention toward Liam. “Hey, Liam,” he said with a small wave.

“Hey, Louis,” Liam responded. Louis slowly walked out from the kitchen, stopping just before he reached them. He was wearing an Adidas pullover and the same ratty sweatpants he had worn to Liam’s first Pilates class. He wiped his hands on his thighs and then pushing his fringe to the side. He was barefoot, and messy, and his expression was hinting at something Liam could only describe as bashful. He had never looked lovelier.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you,” Louis said. Then he smiled, the same, polite, closed-mouth smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “What’s up?”

Liam glanced quickly at Zayn and then back to Louis. “I need to talk to you,” he said. “I need to talk about us.”

“Aaaand that’s my cue,” Zayn said, grabbing his car keys. “See you two in a few hours.”

Louis’ face looked panicked. “Zayn, don’t you dare -”

“Bye!” Zayn interrupted, shooting Louis a wink before closing the door behind him.

Louis closed his eyes and scratched his head. “Fine,” he said, turning and walking toward the kitchen. "Are you coming?" Liam waited for a moment and then followed him.

Louis moved quickly about the kitchen, opening and closing cabinet doors and finally removing two mugs. He filled a kettle with water and turned on the stove. “Tea?” He asked.

“Yes, please.” Liam said, sitting down at the little kitchen table. Louis hopped up to sit on the counter.

“Look, I know what you’re going to say, Liam," Louis began, "and I want you to know that I’m not mad at you.” He bounced an empty mug on his knee. “I mean, I was mad at you, but I’m over it now. I know you didn’t mean anything by it. So let’s just put this all behind us. We can drink this tea, and then when Zayn gets back, we can all go down to the bar and get a drink. How does that sound?”

Liam shook his head. “That’s not why I came over here, Louis. I didn’t come here to apologize.”

Louis tilted his head to the side and studied Liam for a moment. Then his face relaxed, and he smiled a real smile for the first time since Liam had arrived. “Good,” he said. “What a relief. I mean, when Zayn told me you were downstairs, I thought you were going to want to have some serious conversation. I thought -” Louis chuckled, then dismissed the thought with a wave. “Wow. Nevermind. Everything is good. We are all good. I’m glad everything is back to normal.”

This was not going as Liam had planned. Louis swung his legs back and forth, kicking his heels against the counter. Liam couldn’t read his expression. He wondered whether he should start talking, or just walk over to Louis and kiss him, or both. He was still deciding when the kettle whistled.

Louis jumped up, seeming to welcome the distraction. “Do you want black tea, or chamomile?” He asked, pouring the boiling water into each mug.

“Chamomile, please,” Liam answered. Then, without thinking, “I want to be with you, Louis.”

Louis froze with his back turned to Liam, his hand hovering above the box of chamomile tea. He slowly stepped back and pushed against the counter with both hands. He didn’t turn around. “Liam, don’t say things like that.”

Liam rushed to correct himself. Louis must not have understood him. “No, Louis, I said I want to be with you, I want us to be toge-”

Louis turned around and crossed his arms over his chest, interrupting Liam before he could finish. “Liam, I know what you said. And I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I’m fine with the way things are. I just want to be friends.”

“Stop doing that!” Liam yelled, standing up from the table. His face felt like it was on fire. Louis raised his eyebrows, his eyes lighting up with surprise. Liam even surprised himself. He should be saddened by Louis’ response, but instead he just felt angry. “Stop talking to me like that,” he continued, his voice calmer, but still sharp, “like I was a child. Stop pretending like everything is okay when it’s not. If anything, I think you’re the one who’s acting immature here.”

That set Louis off. He jumped away from the counter and pointed a finger at Liam’s chest. “Really Payno, you want to talk about immature? How about blabbing to the entire Pilates class about how we had sex? Creating rumors, letting everyone think we were dating?”

Liam shook his head. “Louis, I never told anyone we were dating. And if you would ever let me finish a sentence, I could tell you that I only told one person that we had hooked up, and that was Megan, who happens to be my friend. I’m sorry for what it looked like, but I don’t know why you are getting so upset about this.”

“Why am I getting so upset?” Louis cried. “I’m upset because you said you wanted to be my friend, Liam! Or was that just some lie, and you wanted to fuck me the entire time? Is that what I am to you? Just some experiment after your divorce?”

Liam staggered backward, almost tripping over the chair he had just been sitting in. He felt like Louis had slapped him across the face. “Experiment? Why would you say that? Why would you think that?” He was reeling, but he was also sick of trying to understand why Louis acted the way he did. Why he didn't want to talk about his life, but was always trying to get Liam to talk. How he could close himself so fiercely and yet press his body and opinions and heart into every part of Liam's life. How he would talk about being friends and, in the same breath, give Liam a look that could light him on fire. Louis Tomlinson, sharp and soft, full of contradictions. “What’s going on with you, Louis?" Liam questioned, his temper flaring. "You act like everything is fine but we know it’s not fine and then you tell me you want to be my friend when I could swear you have feelings for me, just like I have feelings for you. Why we are playing this game? What are you so afraid of?”

“YOU!” Louis shouted, throwing his hands in the air. “I’m fucking afraid of you, Liam!" Then he started to laugh, and then he groaned, and then he took a deep breath. "You scare the shit out of me. You walk into my Pilates class, you’re hot and shy and a fucking CONSTRUCTION WORKER, for fuck's sake, like I'm basically living my fantasies, and here I’m thinking _yes, finally, a little bit of fun in my fucking boring life_ , but then it turns out you are this amazing man, a grown up, a real person, with great friends and an amazing daughter and how can you not see how utterly intimidating you are?”

Liam sunk down into the chair behind him, speechless. Louis sighed heavily and prepared them both a cup of lukewarm tea before finally sitting down beside him.

“Do you want to know why I left L.A., Liam?” He asked. “I left L.A. because I didn’t like the person I’d become. I got into this party scene in my early 20s and ended up dropping out of college. The only job I could hold down was teaching Pilates, and that was because I only had to work about 10 hours a week. I had a string of very unfulfilling relationships, if I could even call them that, and I was totally broke and borrowing money from people and it was a huge mess. Basically, the idea of growing up terrified me, and I tried to put it off for as long as I could. Zayn was the only person who put up with me. I think he knew that I was going through something intense, and so he just kind of let me have my space to freak out for a while. But when he told me that he was moving to Chicago to accept a job, and that I could go with him if I promised to get my shit together, I jumped at the chance.” Louis took a sip of his tea and stared into the mug. When he finally looked up at Liam, his eyes were full of resignation. “Liam, I am trying to do the right thing here, for once in my life. I am trying to think of other people’s needs before my own. Specifically, you and Ruby. What do I possibly have to offer you? I am a 32 year-old former L.A. scene kid who teaches Pilates and lives with his only friend. I have never had a successful relationship. I still don’t know the first thing about being an adult. Trust me, I am not the person you think I am.”

Liam reached over and took Louis’ hand, squeezing it gently. “Louis, you are just the kind of person I think you are. You are good to talk to and smart and funny and, just…” he trailed off, searching for the words. Then he took a deep breath and laced their fingers together. “Listen, I appreciate you wanting to do the right thing here, but the right thing doesn’t always work out how you expect. And I know what’s right for me, and for my family. Ruby loves you, and Niall and Harry love you. I know my parents will love you… everyone does!” Louis shot Liam a warning look but he continued, undeterred. “I used to think that maybe I had got it all wrong, getting married young and wanting to be in a relationship so badly. But if I had never married Katherine, I wouldn't have Ruby. And if I don't try and convince you that we belong together, I could be missing out on something very special. The thing is, I am a relationship person. I know that now. And I know that being with you would be tough sometimes, but it would also be amazing, because I have never met anyone like you, Louis. And I don’t think I’ve ever liked anyone as much as I like you.”

Louis shook his head but did not pull away. “Liam, can you please stop saying shit like that?” He covered his face with his free hand. “Honestly, why do you have to be so genuine and noble all the time? It’s infuriating! Say something mean! Do something selfish! Tell me I’m being a jerk, scream at me, storm out, do anything but sit here and talk to me like that!” Louis sighed and looked up at Liam, his expression a mixture of affection and bewilderment. “Why are you like this?” He asked. He smiled, small and gentle, and when he spoke again his voice was barely above a whisper. “Why do you make it so difficult to not fall in love with you?”

Liam stared back at Louis in disbelief. “You love me?” He asked, confused. “Like, you _love_ , love me? Not like a friend?”

Louis rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “Liam, you are killing me here. Of COURSE I am in love with you! I fell in love with you the first time we kissed, and again when I met Ruby, and again when you gave me the last slice of pizza, and every time you opened a door for me or asked me how I’m doing or squeezed my stupid hand, and every moment in between! There, are you satisfied?”

The space between then couldn't be closed fast enough. Liam jumped to his feet, grabbing Louis’ face and pulling it up to his, planting kisses on his lips, his cheeks, his eyebrows, down the line of his jaw and on the tip of his nose. Louis laughed, pushing at Liam’s chest, squirming in his arms. Then he relaxed, wrapping his arms around Liam’s neck and pulling him into a proper kiss. Liam felt giddy, and his entire body hummed with it.

“You love me,” he mumbled against Louis’ lips. “You love me,” he sighed, sucking at Louis’ neck. Louis moaned and ground up against him. “You love me,” he smirked, enjoying the feeling of Louis coming undone in his arms.

“I love you,” Louis breathed. He kissed Liam deeply, licking into his mouth, biting at his lip. Liam ran his fingers along Louis’ rib cage, causing him to inhale sharply and nuzzle at Liam's neck. “Did you happen to bring that tool belt?” he purred in Liam’s ear.

Liam laughed and hoisted Louis up onto the counter. "I  _knew_ it!" He smiled, victorious, and placed himself between Louis' legs. But Louis stuck his hand down the front of Liam's pants and quickly put an end to his gloating.

They made out against the counter, their bodies moving together, desperate and lost in each other's arms. Finally Louis pulled away and placed his hand on Liam’s cheek to quiet him. He traced his finger along Liam's eyebrow, across his bottom lip, over the stubble on his chin. Then Louis smiled, and his entire face lit up, warm and bright and everything that Liam could have ever hoped for. And as they walked toward the bedroom, as they took off their clothes and grinned at each other like idiots, as they came back together and fell onto the bed, Liam knew that he would keep that shining moment near his heart forever. That moment when he had dared to stare into the sun, and Louis Tomlinson had smiled back at him.

\-------------------------------------------------

Watching Ruby run up and down the soccer field, Liam couldn’t believe that she had grown up so quickly. Well, nine years-old wasn’t exactly grown up, but it did mean a lot of things. She was still a child in many ways, loving to sit on Liam’s lap and still sleeping with her Frozen pillow, but she was also becoming increasingly independent. Her friendships were more complex, and important. Marisol and Kyle spent the night every Friday, and would be over all the time if Liam let them. And he usually did. Ruby no longer rushed to greet him when he got home from work, but when she did hug him, it almost meant more. She had a lot of love in her life, and a lot of important people, but Liam would always be her Papa.

She was also beginning to sprout like a bean. Some people had recently mistaken her for Harry’s daughter, with their matching brown ringlets and gangly limbs. But the growth spurt had zero effect on her soccer game. She cut through the crisp autumn air and dribbled past the other team, all pure concentration and will. Liam cheered her on, like he did at every game. Ruby managed to get a pass off before another girl plowed over her and knocked her to the ground.

“Foul!” The crowd screamed. But nobody was louder then Katherine. She had jumped to her feet and was whistling loudly at the ref, yelling at him to get his eyes checked. Liam laughed and tugged at the hem of her shirt, pulling her back toward the bleacher bench.

“That ref is blind!” She said, shaking her head with disbelief. “That was clearly a foul!”

Liam patted her on the back. “It’s okay, Ruby is fine. Plus, it looks like Louis is on it.” Liam pointed across the field to where Louis was arguing with the ref, waving his clip board above his head and stalking back and forth along the sideline. He’d been Ruby’s soccer coach for the past two years, and their rec team was doing incredibly well. He still worked as a Pilates instructor, but Liam had noticed a distinct change in Louis' mood when he started coaching soccer. The Pilates kept him strong and fit, which Liam had to admit he loved, but the soccer fed his soul, which Liam loved even more. He wasn't so sure that the referees loved it, though. The ref pointedly ignored Louis but made a make-up call a few minutes later, awarding their team a penalty.

“Have I told you recently how glad I am that you found him?” Katherine asked, nudging Liam with her shoulder. Liam smiled back at her. When he first told Katherine that he was dating Louis, and that Louis was a man, she had been overwhelmed and ended their phone conversation abruptly. But she called back in a few days, and apologized, and said she was confused, but that she was happy he was happy. Now, three years later, Katherine was one of Louis' biggest fans. She was also the only one who really understood why he and Louis would choose to be together in a committed relationship and not get married. Of all the people in his life, Katherine understood from firsthand experience that marriage was not the only, and definitely not the ultimate, expression of love. In fact, they often laughed together about how their relationship had dramatically improved after the divorce.

“Katherine, THANK YOU for screaming at the ref!” Louis called out as he and Ruby jogged across the field to meet them after the game. He gave her a smile and grabbed at Liam's jacket absentmindedly. Louis had a way of maintaining almost constant physical contact with Liam, even when he wasn't aware of it. “The ref association told me that I am “too vocal with the officials,” so it was good to know that my thoughts were being expressed elsewhere.”

“England has definitely taught me to be more reserved, but if you mess with my daughter, you have another thing coming.” Kathrine said. She gathered Ruby up in her arms and squeezed her tightly. “I just can’t believe I have to go back so soon!”

Ruby looked up at her mother. “Don’t worry Mom, I’ll be there in a few months, and we’ll spend all of December together!”

Louis looked at Liam and smiled encouragingly. This would be Ruby’s first trip to England on her own, and the first Christmas they would spend apart. Liam had been weary about letting her go. He knew that this would be important for her, and for her relationship with Katherine, and that was what mattered most. But the idea still made him feel a little wistful.

Ruby seemed to sense Liam’s discomfort and reached over to tug on his hand. “Papa, can me and Louis show you something? We’ve been working on a cheer that Louis can do when he feels like screaming at the referee.” Liam nodded and Ruby and Louis moved to stand beside each other, both trying to look serious and failing miserably.

 _Birdie, birdie in the sky_  
_Why'd ya do that the ref’s eye?_  
_Birdie, birdie in the sky,_  
_Gee, I wish that cows could fly!_

Then they both did a cartwheel, Louis very badly, and ended in a kneeling position with their hands in the air. Katherine shook her head and Liam laughed. “I’ve created a monster! Two of them!” He added as Louis jumped up and pulled the four of them into a hug.

Louis sent Ruby off to help her teammates clean up the field and collect their practice equipment, and she pulled Katherine along with her. They watched as mother and daughter ran across the park, red and golden leaves swirling around them. “You know she loves you,” Louis said, wrapping an arm around Liam’s waist. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a little girl who looked up to her Dad as much as Ruby looks up to you.”

Liam slung his arm around Louis shoulder. “Some of that is you, Louis. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Louis would usually roll his eyes at such sentiments, but this time he just smiled back at Liam, little tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. Maybe he was going soft because Ruby would be leaving for England soon, or because he was all riled up from the soccer game. Or maybe he and Liam were more alike than either of them realized.

“I love you, Liam Payne.” He said, his eyes shining. The hair at his temples was flecked with grey, and the laugh lines around his eyes were becoming permanent. Liam brushed Louis' tears away with the pad of this thumb and planted a tender kiss on his lips.

Louis pulled away slightly and smirked. "Remember when you came into my Pilates class and you couldn't even touch your toes?" He asked.

There was a time when such redirects from Louis would have left Liam perplexed, but not anymore. He smiled. “Remember when you said you weren’t looking for a serious relationship?”

“I don't remember that at all.” Louis closed his eyes and pulled Liam back into the kiss.


End file.
